The Joke Thread

[Daarkbuu]

What do you call a black priest

Go look it up yourself because if i say it here the internet police will cum lock me up for hate crimes fml

[limepie20]

A Jew and a dog walked into a bar. The Jew orders a beer and then accidentally spills it. The dog says, "that must've been an expensive beer."

Get it? Of course you don't.

The joke had a Jew in it and wasn't even racially insensitive. Plus dogs can't talk and have no way of obtaining that kind of knowledge.

[Aposke]

The bartender says "Sorry, but we don't serve tachyons here."

A tachyon walks into a bar.

[kilon]

I don't know if it's a good thing or not, but I got the joke and to make it worse, I actually enjoyed it

[freelop]

There is no shame in laughing at that joke, I enjoyed it too.

[morsel/morceau]

topical, too

[morsel/morceau]

A baby? What? No, not me. I'm a fully grown adult human being. My name? Uh, Todd...Ler.
Todd Ler.

[Argumentable]

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender looks at him and says "Why the long dick?" and then the horse took a shit on the floor

[Sutin]

This morning the strangest thing happened.
I got out of bed and started walking round the flat making small talk with various pieces of furniture.
Turns out on my alarm I’d pressed the schmooze button…


There’s a convent full of stupid people, except for one, and she’s Nun The Wiser.

[BeatBoxingBoo]

What font is alphabet soup?

Times New Ramen

[GrimDarkening]

my life and me are a joke
ha

[BeatBoxingBoo]

well that was a shitty attempt at reviving this thread

[Mata Hari]

what's brown and rhymes with snoop

dr dre

[Mata Hari]

did you hear about the magic tractor

it went down the hill and turned into a field

why did the scarecrow win a nobel prize

he was outstanding in his field

why didn't the skeleton go to the party

he had no body to go with

why didn't the snowman go to the party

he had snowbody to go with all his friends were flakes

[Dizzybelle]

Did you hear about he man who got cooled to absolute zero?

He's 0K now.

[Fidget]

BLEEHHH URRGHH AND OTHER GROSS NOISES

[Ashan]

"you only live once" would be "ecno evil ylno uoy" in a mirror.

[Mata Hari]

Yeah those aren't funny at all.

Speaking of not funny, how many Vietnam vets does it take to replace a lightbulb?

You don't know man. You don't know. 'Cos you weren't THERE.

[lukaramu]

What's black and on a tree?

A voyeur after a forest fire.

What's red and on a tree?

His friend, he's still glowing.

[dohz]

How many art directors does it take to change a light bulb?

“Does it have to be a light bulb?”

[Willhart]

Fish City

It a joke from the Stanley Parable devblog. At least the fish look funny.

[Septentrion Pleiades]

Quantum Physics would be a much better thread than this thing. Here is why:

Because talking about bosons gives me a hadron.

[Mata Hari]

what's orange and sounds like a parrot

a carrot

how many potatoes does it take to kill an irishman

0

[Sebby19]

Ashan isn't going to like these. I heard them around the Grey Cup season a few years ago.

1)What do you have when you get 8 Saskatchewan Rough Riders together?

A full set of teeth

2)In more serious news, a tornado hit the city of Regina the other day. $4 million in improvements.

[Ashan]

1) I'm probably the least caring of the Riders than anyone in Saskatchewan. I don't keep up with sports at all.

2) Yeah, a good chunk of Regina is pretty disgusting. The newer areas are pretty nice, but the areas people from out of town think of when they think "Regina", particularly central is terrible and I wouldn't want to be walking around there any time of day. I think we have the highest crime rate per capita, so there's that.

I'm very patriotic about my city by the way.