Help! My tortoise won't behave!

[anonymousbl00dlust]

Hey all,

For Christmas this year Santa gave me a Greater African Tortoise named snapper.



He was very enjoyable for the first hour or so, but now he has begun to screech incessantly and chew apart my sofa. I tried feeding him some chips and salsa but he didn't try a single bite!

I have looked for advice from various pet sites but cannot find anything pertaining to my situation. Has anyone else had experience raising these creatures? What should i do to subdue his wrath?

[Ashan]

Call of Duty.
Advanced Warfare.
Xbox One.

Copy that.

[Sorel]

Call of Duty.
Advanced Warfare.
Xbox One.

Copy that.

also, Doritos and Mountain Dew.

[Unaniem]

What kind of dog is that even suppose to be

[GlitchedGhost]

Flush him down the toilet

[Window Squeegee]

Try feeding him Austin Powers.

[anonymousbl00dlust]

Flush him down the toilet

A clever suggestion! However, my house does not have a bathroom so this is not possible.

[GlitchedGhost]

Flush him down the toilet

A clever suggestion! However, my house does not have a bathroom so this is not possible.

Substitute: Take a bucket of water and a stick. Put the turtle in the bucket and then stir violently with the stick
It doesn't have the 'down the drain' effect but it has the 'spinny spinny' effect

[InsaneIntentions1]

Let him swim in a boiling pot full of seasonings

[Razzling]

Have you tried turning him off and back on again

[McKnackus]

Tender Loving Care and a shock collar.

[LiAS]

Um, you rip his shell off and put it on a Mario plush. (Geez, some people. )