Who the heck was BlackDS?

[rena]

dunno

[KobaBeach]

dear rena,

is rena real and my friend

love timmy age 5

[Sebby19]

Sooooo,
remember how I said I missed almost the first year of the talkhaus?

I checked, I joined one month after the talkhaus was formed. I over estimated there...
I guess my lack of exposure to BlackDS can be attributed to me mostly keeping to the LP board, and him to wherever he trawled.

I guess I just don't remember a time the Do Not Feed group ever not being there.

[Kilgamayan]

devotee of patchouli

!

[Sebby19]

devotee of patchouli

!

Unfortunately I don't remember the actual name, but it followed the pattern 'Follower of Patchouli'
Even when the usergroup was listed, Rena sometime aftereward set her 'main' usergroup to be the simple registered user, converter her name from pink to non-bolded blue, just like the rest of us. I wondered why she did that...

[Sebby19]

Funny story time: You know how each usergroup's description says 'this is a closed group. New members can only join upon invitation of a group leader'

For a short time, rena's pink group was the only 'open' one, as in there was a function that let you apply to join. So one day I clicked it. The group became closed after that.

What I should have done was wait until close to April Fool's day, get a bunch of members on board with my idea, and then swarm Rena with applications at once.
It would have been hilarious.

[The Destroyer of Worlds]

I feel like nobody ever remembers that the forum roles listed at the bottom of the front page haven't been updated in many years, and thus include one group that isn't relevant anymore, are missing at least one group that is relevant, and list one group that also hasn't been updated in years.

They weren't placed there with what you're seeing now in mind. Most people (such as whoever added him to that role) probably didn't even think about how they're listed at the bottom, and no mod has since either, at least not for long enough to consider updating it.

Sorry for wet blanket-ing earlier, then.

I just. I just hate seeing Horikawa like this.
I wish Willhart fucking died already or something.

This was awhile ago, but I got linked to this thread just now, so I'll respond I suppose and give a general update to a lot of stuff.

I put that non-human in that group to mark them as being on a level of abhorrence that is worthy of talkhaus memory and collective disgust. "Do Not Feed" was a somewhat legendary role, at least in my mind, for being "someone the talkhaus would never let back" - so I wanted to convey that perspective. I was not aware of the description that made a light joke of the role. And, to be honest, I did not think there was a place where BlackDS (who, by all accounts, seems to be a decent guy), would be listed alongside the other members of the group.

It was a poor decision - and I think, right now, the best thing for people to do is forget that creature.That is largely what I am doing (alongside legal things that are in motion at this point as of the first of this month or so - boy was that expensive, international law sucks. Thankfully, Finnish criminal law is very nice when it comes to stalking, harassment, and threats). Removing him from that group will, hopefully, remove him a bit from public memory.

Currently, although he still tries to harass me on an almost daily basis with truly psychotic messages and, I am told, threats (because, apparently, terrifying me is the method he seems to think is the most likely to get me to talk to him again????), I thankfully have talkhaus friends who I pay to filter (archive, send to my lawyer, and delete) any messages I get on any program or social media programs that I cannot disable messaging on (this is why I have disabled my talkhaus messages, incidentally). When I get a ping of some follow request on a website or something, I just delete the account. I have also had a couple coder friends (also from talkhaus) develop some complex email whitelist filters for me (also for a handful of other programs/games) so that, basically, unless you're on a specific list of users, you cannot get an email to me (it gets deleted before being delivered). He began flooding my personal, professional, and private email addresses with truly horrible, psychotic messages (often including VERY personal information that is NOT available online), so this became necessary. Hell, I've even gotten an (actual) mail filtering service and fake address for where I live (which my university's sexual violence/harassment center is providing me for free, thankfully). I've also interacted with federal government entities (ICE, mostly) to ensure he cannot enter the USA (the one benefit of the trump admin is that it's very easy to put people on the perma-ban no-entry lists. Thankfully, since he's already charged with harassment crimes here, he cannot even appeal it). It's been a difficult (and expensive) process, making it basically impossible to contact me, but it's made my life a lot better.

As a result of all of this, I basically never see the guy anymore (and don't think about him at all - well on the way to fully forgetting him), but it also means I can't really participate in public-facing online communities. Small group chats and private streams on one of my discord alts (which I've sadly had to make) are basically the only way I interact online anymore, which is a real shame. This is likely the last post I'll make on talkhaus until he's in prison. It is what it is. I'll certainly survive.

On a side note - to answer questions about why I made my videos private: I got sick of seeing them. LPs used to be fun, but now they're infused with this sexual feeling that makes me deeply disturbed, as someone who is almost asexual. I don't like producing pornography for a creepy little incel in Finland. Besides that, on the off chance that, that strange little man hadn't saved them, I wanted him to not have access (I don't really know if he's saved any at all, but I suspect he probably has). Even seeing them felt deeply violating - I also handed over that YouTube account to some friends after changing all my graphics to the least sexy things I could find, so I don't use it for anything anymore. I promised myself if LPs ever stopped being fun, I'd stop doing them. And, well, now I never want to record anything ever again, to be honest. I've even MOSTLY stopped playing retro video games these days, since they mostly started making me feel gross. Thankfully, reading queer theory literature doesn't make me feel that way, so I largely do that instead

That was all very dire. However, it isn't all bad.

I'm quite happy, at a minimum. I've gotten more involved with people, found a boyfriend (another academic! Although he's a stupid stemboy ) who I've gotten quite serious with (soon-to-be fiance), and I'm moving in a few days to begin a dedicated year in China for language study (for my PhD, I have to be fluent in an additional language other than Japanese and English - and I was fortunate enough, as I just learned a month or so ago, to land a wonderful fellowship to afford studying a year in China, so why the hell not). My career is on track, I love what I do, I'm refining (radically so, even) my research interests, my social relationships are great, and things are looking up.

Additionally, I should say, I also do have a nice support system. Although obviously, I'd certainly never want to speak with that thing again (indeed, I made a promise to myself a long time ago to only do so via lawyer or police), if for some reason I ever did waver, I have many talkhaus friends who would stop me. They hate that stalker almost as much as I do (raocow, for example, loathes him). So there is no chance that I would ever interact with him again in any way, simply because of my friend systems in place that he would have to go through first that would prevent me from doing so. Not to mention, obviously, my own desire to see him in prison (which, thankfully, will probably be occurring sooner rather than later since I bit the bullet a few months ago on paying the exorbitant amount of money and going down the legal route).

More than that though - he's also basically silenced. Although some of my talkhaus friends see his psycho messages still, they don't tell me about them, so he can't really reach me. Obviously, I guess if he did something drastic like commit suicide and list me as a beneficiary to his will, I might get a message from him again - but short of that, he basically has no way of reaching me.

[Kilgamayan]

Oof. Glad things seem to be on their way to a legal resolution, at least.

[Sebby19]

You last post

Oh wow, it was worse than I feared.
To think I was chatting with him about ideas I had for the MAGLX3 hub (if I was voted to host). Then the ban, and I didn't find out why until rao's birthday last year. Yeesh

Horikawa, I don't know what to say, but I'm glad you are moving past this. I'm also glad to see you 1 more time, even if it looks like goodbye (hopefully maybe 5 years?)
Congratulations on the BF!

[CrappyBlueLuigi]

this is, honestly, incredibly good news, given there hasn't been any word on your well-being in quite a while. you've got outlets, you've found new interests, you're healing, and you have tons of safeguards for yourself. this is a much, much bigger update than you really owe anyone, but thank you for posting it nonetheless, as i'm sure a lot of folks here have been quietly worried for you.

[KobaBeach]

I'm sorry you had to spend so much money but I'm so glad things are finally being set in motion to place him in jail. I hope to see you again sometime.

[The Hero Hartmut]

While it saddens me to hear that LPs aren't a thing you'll be doing again, Horikawa, it's nevertheless heartening to hear that you're moving on with your life. Just let me know what (if anything) you want done with the TV Tropes creator page I'd set up for you before everything that happened came to light; if you'd like me to take it down, I'll have it done.

[Mata Hari]

Horikawa you are a cool person and I'm very happy to hear that things are looking up, even if it was a hell of a road to get there

[64searchman46]

Horikawa you are a trooper! I wasn't around for most of that situation, but I'm glad things are getting at least a little bit better. Hopefully things only continue to improve for you!

[Donut]

I've never really interacted with you outside of a few youtube comments, but I too wish you the best, Horikawa. Nobody should have to go through what you have, and I hope eventually you'll be able to go back to living without this cloud over you. Good luck, and congrats on your boyfriend.

[YelseyKing]

I just noticed and got around to reading this post... Man, it sounds like you've had it quite rough for a while, but I'm glad to hear you're working to put a stop to that moron's nonsense, and that your personal life is going well. It'll be nice when that dumbshit is finally in jail where he belongs, and you can make a proper return, but I totally get why you'd want to stay away for the time being. Anyway, add me to the list of well-wishers. Good luck in whatever you do in the future, and I hope you can return sooner rather than later!

[The Hero Hartmut]

I don't know if you can see this, Horikawa, but I was able to arrange to have your TV Tropes page taken down. It was outside of normal policy (as, generally, creators shouldn't have a say in how their page on trope pages are managed), but an exception was made here. They did keep your Heartwarming moments page, though, for whatever this means to you.

So, yeah, thanks for everything, and I wish you all the best from here.

[MyOtheHedgeFox]

Really happy to finally hear something from you after so many months, years even. =) Still so deeply ashamed I didn’t notice the weird signs before that [expletitive] got ousted and you just disappeared.

[Sorel]

I know this message probably won't reach you, but I'm glad your life improved after all the shit you've been through. You only deserve the best.