TALKTOPIA - Post-Game Adventures!

[Mikkofier]

I vote chef. Full circle!

[Rixithechao]

I vote changing it up every day

and/or imp

[Picochilla]

Evil Impuddy

[Katazuki]

I say change it up every now and then.

In terms of the one class more than likely to be useful for the future content though, Princess is the most useful in terms of attacking and utility.

But to keep options open, Imp has a guaranteed single target guard lowering move versus Princess' chance at guard lowering the entire group as well as chance of the group losing a turn as well. Chef is mostly for if you don't trust your teammates AI in terms of healing.

[Whimsical Calamari]

I vote chef. Full circle!

[Bean]

I say to keep going as the princess. It's just too funny.

[Mata Hari]

I vote that BK chooses the class he wants to roll with since he's the guy who's been taking 32048239048230 screenshots for an audience of imbeciles

[Ivy]

I vote that BK chooses the class he wants to roll with since he's the guy who's been taking 32048239048230 screenshots for an audience of imbeciles

Upfart'd

[YelseyKing]

Princess! That way you and pholtos can both be princesses together. :3

[Dizzybelle]

EPISODE FIFTY-SIX

the results are in!


so what i'll be doing from now on
is that at every inn
i'll roll a random number from 1 to 3
1 = princess
2 = imp
3 = chef
then, ill assign bk that class until the next inn, where i'll roll again

Why Beat 'Em, When You Can Join 'Em!

the first roll is to bring back the imp class!
time to work my wicked deeds >:3c


its still five people
you were just in a team of five people like, five episodes ago


unrealistic, im returning this game


bad touch! bad touch!



i mean, it does make combat easier



wait a minute



you and your bloody 'laid-back' quirks


my people! they know im back on my bullshit!



return of the forkin' dark magic, yo



geez kapus calm down
this is like, your first battle back in the thing and you're out for blood already



aw geez things are all sorts of spooky



theres not really a lot to say about pieces of paper in a box that hasnt already been said


hoblin' gerblins!
yknow this location makes more sense for them to be in than the pretty forest



buttpoking! oh how i missed the sweet squish of... wait no


please we're really thirsty


bk no

mischief



several fast mii talking sounds later



it turns out kapus bought her shoes on the internet!
amazing!


you have to sacrifice your sanity to spend time around these morons


bk becomes a 'straight to vhs' version of satan



with all the tickets we've been earning, better get to spending


mikko gets a free corndog



before we leave though, better roll those bones!
back to princess for a bit! the royal treatment is reinstated!

Dinner and a Show!

with two paths open to us, i feel like taking out the big beefy bruiser first might be a good idea


good evening gentlemen, lovely weather we're having, eh?








god dammit mikkofier



regret


ouch geez
painful


three for the price of one!


and the final nail in their coffin is laid by steel kitty paws


bk and calamari level up from munching on the juicy juicy beef of their enemies


well, while we're at it, might as well check in on our travelling friend


*2008 internet noises*



is that some spicy hot pizza
man im excited now



thats the pizza experience
if your entire mouth isnt burnt and horrible because you ate the dang thing too fast
you're not doing it right



"it hurts so good" - hoeloe 2017


yeah uh
we've met?
several times?
hello?



free 'za!
wait
wasnt that the guy who did real estate


ew its got olives on it gross
on second thought you keep it man


do you uh
have another one?
like, i dunno, one without gross vinegar beans on it?

Tiny Trouble!

lets keep the pain train rollin'
(also, since we didnt go to an in after the cowboys and hoeloe, my class didnt change)


omg its so tiny :o


bk chill its tiny and adorable
i wanna hug it


see, mata hari knows a cute thing when she sees it



well normally griffins have like 4 sets of eyes (dark ones have double)
so if thats one face then i would like to meet its owner



i'd like to point out that the griffin just ZWOOP'd upwards
it didnt fly away, it just shot up vertically without moving its body at all


you're gosh dang right i am


back to the task at hand, and we've got split paths to deal with


a couple'a chuckleheads


nothin' kapus can't smash


and mikko claims all the glory with a level up



theres just a box full of spaghetti out here
o...okay


hey man i just let your little brother live
cut me some slack


or yknow, we could just shatter your whole existance
that works too


another split path, but if its anything like the first, ill only need to do one more trip


how long has it been since these idiots have asked about warcries?


infinite power!


ROUND TWO
THIS TIME WITH BUTTERFLIES



even when theyre in a fight, nobody can resist the call of the pudding


teamwork topples the dark master of butterflies



butts are my specialty


last but probably least, the final butterfly falls


and thats run #1 down, yo


aw geez
kapus gets her turn in the macho squad



bk licks a frying pan


the smallest path


and this same bloody griffin is waiting for me again



return of the spicy smash


and now for the other one


man that owl's face

im not sure what emotion this is expressing but im feeling it


for once, bk is on the ball

mata hari's disappointed that she didnt see this warrior child get mauled by an owl


donating time and effort to save each other from certain death


whenever calamari attacks people it makes miscellaneous animal sounds
but never a cat noise
he couldnt afford the 'cat sound' dlc



the gold income in this region is pretty great


oh man its these guys again



[insert footage of a duck in a hurricane here]


this fight? finished


but can he forgive himself?


note: use of frying pans as any other implement (drying, flying, dying) is not covered by the warranty


kapus has downed all of hoeloe's pizza
she's a cheesy gal



we rolled another 3, so bk's stayin' a chef for the next round

NEXT EPISODE

We go into the big spooky rock place! What horrors await us? Probably rocks!



WELL AT LEAST WE DIDNT DIE
SPIRITED TALKHAUS

[Mikkofier]

I wander around a volcano dressed as a carrot, do you think I even know what regret means?

[Mata Hari]

Buying weapons and armour before changing class is like hard mode right

[Dizzybelle]

EPISODE FIFTY-SEVEN

if i change my class, any request for buying new gear goes away
so if i wait until afterwards, im never gonna get new equipment

Volcano Visit!

because entering a very active volcano is a good idea


oh man that's a lot of pasta sauce


i lava good lake


story time with calamari


w...where do you keep it




that is how lava works, yes



it was a can of peas
its lucky


couple'a hobgerbs
i suppose nudity is one way to stay cool in a volcano



mikko becomes dragonborn, shouting his opponents apart


tripping inside an actual lava cave seems like a recipe for disaster


carrots are good for your health






apparently when you kill a bomb...


it blows up and kills the other enemies
which is very convenient and a pretty bad strategy for the enemies


bomble gum
bomble gun







oh man free stuff


wait a second
mikko

did you just regift my present back to me



rolled a two, so next section will be imp-town USA

Rock and a Hard Place!

judging by the space on the map, something's about to go down
the big exclamation sign aside, its got that little star space rather than a circle


the line is, SAY
WHAAAAAAAAT


well that's that, roll credits fellas

its been fun
bit of an anticlimax, but hey, maybe they ran out of budget



...



okay not really
its just calamari and mikko who are dead forever
shame


bk just shrugs after witnessing his close friends be murdered


two teams
one with a pudding and a warrior
the other with a pair of corpses



imp-town usa was very short lived
back to princess time


oh hey will i get a chance to play as calamari at some point
that would be weird


what if it's just the same gerblins every time
they just dust themselves off after death and come back


see you in a few minutes, fellas!



im sure theyre fiiiiiiiiiine
a little dead, but still fiiiiiiiiiiiiine



that sounds like something i'd put here
my mii is becoming sentient


well if we dont the game wont progress
so we dont really have a choice in the matter



bk listen
have you been reading my thread?
this is getting suspicious



kapus doesnt have time for bk's shenanigans


oh geez that mummy's on fire
that does not look healthy



yes because leaping directly onto a giant explosive is a good idea
we're just full of good ideas today



these bombs are making me thirsty combat much easier



have you ever eaten like, really warm candy?
like, really, really warm
its not nice


kapus has been on the booze again


>:3c


BK NO THATS TOO SPOOKY



she just shot up into the air at full speed


regret™


real straightforward, probably keeping it short since we're only half a party right now



rolled a one again, so bk's staying a princess for a bit

Hotfooting!

my guess is that we get to the exclamation mark, then swap over to catboy and manflower


i wonder if monsters like each other
like, do mummies and hobgoblins hang out?


how do i shot bandage?


oh no! now it's kapus cosplay is almost complete!


:3c


hey, we paid good money for that!



i forgot you were even here


the concept that these very clearly hollow mummy enemies somehow have body fluids still creeps me out a bit


they meet once a month for an arm wrestle
how do you think mata hari became a mod



yeah, with a whole 30 damage on your attacks im sure you'd do greeeaaaaat



remind me, how many monsters have we murdered in this area alone?
like, 100?
pacifism my ass



'im too lazy to do it myself, so im gonna make this potato-brained mii do it for me'



remember, you're a garbage CAN not a garbage CAN'T


a labelled split

as much as i love boxes
lever's normally work out better in the long run


hey guess what it's tweedledee and tweedledum again



i still think this attack is really rad looking


waluigi never lets me down


how do you even install a lever mechanism in a volcano
surely that needs some underground work



the whole cave echoed with this noise


tadah! a free box!


bk and kapus get closer, mostly because theyre the only two in the inn at the moment
(mata hari sleeps outside because reasons
she knows what she did)



ramblin' gamblin' man


oh man thats a super cute outfit



what a shame that we wont be able to see it for a while
because it's chef time, baby


time to go grab us a box!


the usual suspects

please go


alright, let's roll


hey!
you're not a box!
this was a sham!








THERE's the box!


kapus buys a really big boxcutter
her run in with a box was not forgotten


omg thats adorable
its a cute little alice in wonderland outfit



no time for fantasy, now is the time for demons

NEXT EPISODE

Will we be able to re-unite with Calamari and Mikkofier? Is Calamari's hanky okay? Where are my keys?!



THOSE QUESTIONS AND MORE ANSWERED ON
TALKHAUS X TALKHAUS

[Picochilla]

wasn't 1 the Princess and 2 the Imp?

[Ivy]

Olives on pizza. Are. Valid.

[YelseyKing]

kapus doesnt have time for bk's shenanigans


oh geez that mummy's on fire
that does not look healthy

While re-using the same image twice is definitely meta and in-character for this project, I'm going to have to assume you goofed here.

[Dizzybelle]

EPISODE FIFTY-EIGHT

goofin' is what i do best

oh whoops
speaking of goofin' i napped pretty damn hard
so this update is very late

Baton Pass!

time for an event space, yo



calamari has already killed and eated mikkofier for protein







i mean, nobody's stopping you


the first time we've seen the inn layout without bk in it
overall, things are smelling significantly better


right, time for some cat and flower based adventures


starting without bk's bad cowboy impression of 'Saddle Up!' is a bit jarring


hashtag shook


well at least it didnt cut anything else off



at this rate, theyre never gonna catch up


another triple split! things are gettin' W I L D


dangit guys
i leave you alone for FIVE SECONDS



steamed carrot and a toasted kitty


several seconds later, mikko's already apologising


wow what a jerk



great, these two are alone together, and hate each other's guts
perfect :/




seems tempers arent the only things blowing up



you two better not keep that for yourselves
this is the people's game ticket



and it is up to the people to utterly waste it



before we clear things out, lets reunite the group, make things easier



i could smell the body odour a mile away



and with that out of the way, its safe to say this dungeon's gimmick is bested



before we head out, we duck into an inn, and you know what that means
class change!

Riches and Returning!

now that the team is reunited, lets clear out the rest of this


central path first, workin' our way down


imagine living inside a volcano
how hot would that be ALL THE TIME


kapus cleaves the universe in half

and gains a level for her troubles


wait what is it
this sounds important



h...how would that work
he wears a full body one piece suit
with big frills


well if he cant notice that himself, that his problem



money money money~♫



'clean, servant! i want to see my face in that floor!'


no new skills for this level, but we do get this classy jingle





bk has to work three jobs to support his weird fantasy family


and now for the bottom path


DOUBLE BOMB ACTION








oh great
its the food literally nobody wanted to eat in the desert




these bombs are certainly speeding up the battle progress, thats for sure


and that's the end of that level, pretty straightforward if you ask me


for getting 1050 rescues, we get EVEN MORE SPRINKLES


mikko and calamari have gotten over their stink
now if we can only get rid of their other stink


hey remember the woolly set?
that thing that you normally get halfway through a level?
mikko only just got there


i rolled another 3, so we're stayin' a chefboy for a while


and now, for our wonderful rewards


what could it be? :o



oh okay, kapus just found excalibur, no big deal


the heck are you idiots doing here
this is a place for treasure! not trashure!

i love the hobgerblin's face

:O


kapus and calamari know who each other is now


bk and mikko donate blood!
it's not their blood
but its the thought that counts






my regal presence is required once more!

NEXT EPISODE

We move to what looks like the last area in the Lava Cave!



I SURRENDER!
TALKHAUS TAIL

[Mata Hari]

The relationship system is kinda like Darkest Dungeon when you think about it

[Picochilla]

this die really must hate imps :>

[Katazuki]

The relationship system is kinda like Darkest Dungeon when you think about it

More like

Lightest Labyrinth.

[YelseyKing]

Wh-what have you done to Euparkeria?!?!

[Dizzybelle]

EPISODE FIFTY-NINE

my 3ds's battery is giving out, it holds charge for about an hour before running out
ive ordered a new one, and since it runs fine while plugged in, this probably wont affect the thread at all

Dog Days Are Over!

this looks like the way out, let's get a move on!



calamari digs up some floor candy
deeeeeeelish



sorry thats me
i havent had dinner yet


oh great, more furries



god dammit mata hari!
you just had to speak it into existance, didnt you?!






sturg, ivy and rocky have combined into a fearsome beast
and nintendo doesnt quite understand how dog faces work


wait, mid battle?
this must be semi-important


okay this sounds real useful



well i know who im giving this to


im starting to think this might be cocaine



yeah definitely cocaine


JESUS C H R I S T
okay, thats definitely a SLIGHT damage buff




three heads? three attacks
makes sense



oh man, the cocaine sprinkles last multiple turns
thats kinda crazy



WHAT KILLED THE ADVENTURERS?
THE ICE AGE!


guess what calamari? you're goin' back in



this guy's taking a hell of a beating, geez



rocky's head coughs up a spicy spicy meatball



and ivy's chill disposition is enough to put people to sleep



of all the things to land the finishing blow, it's mikko tickling them with a flower thing


three rescues for the price of one, yo


WOO FREE WEINER




our explosion expert, out disco diva and our heavy weapon are all back in action!



you bet your asses you owe me one
one each


wait bk that was my joke


prepare for at LEAST six to seven years of slavery

:3c


that leaves yelsey, enjl and lat
theyre probably dead, tbh


if i HAVE TO
GOSH



we've got some team organising to do later, it seems



is this goodbye then, ms 'great and powerful'?




later nerdface
i doubt this is the last we'll see of you, though


geez this place is getting packed



before we head out, gotta roll the die


from this point onwards, we can customize our team however we like

though for the remainder of the this episode ill be using the newbies



we're not out of the lava cave yet, we've got some snurps!



good to have the ol' boys back together :3


free radishes! :D

Peak Your Interest!

aaaaaand we're out of the submap


of COURSE there's a giant menacing castle in the background


nah it's probably some other evil dude's place



we think he's a big meanie!


where did all these skeleton's spine's go
is there just some giant pile of spines somewhere in that castle
that would be pretty fuckin' metal



take notes mata hari, REAL lightning has splash damage



rocky thinks skeletons are hilarious
and who can blame him? skeletons ARE hilarious



sturg clears 'em out before they can land another punchline



that's a bunch a dosh, yo
why are you just leaving this outside your house


oh hey it's tenda
long time no see bud


well it is a firey hellscape
those tend to be warm


ew


wait no


wait no


WAIT NO


bk looks ready to fight
blood was about to be spilled


i am very thankful i didnt have to see your tendas



i mean, i was probably gonna do that anyway
gotta travel on ALL the roads, yo


thats a weirdly specific thing for someone to say


later, nerd


im gonna have to start spreading these relationships around
some of these dorks dont even know each other


sturg becomes a Pool Boy™








the die are determined to prove pico wrong, giving us another imp round

Spicy Steps!

onto the next one, yo!


dont summon that weird spectral onion face into your speech bubble
its dangerous
she can sense it


having a fifth attack for every turn sure was useful


how would you even know?!
you joined after she left, dingus







rip rocky


i wonder if all bones turn into those skulletons
like, if we died here, would our bones become those?



[slurping noise]




war tips: poke a tank in the back and it is forced to fire a round
its the rules





bk that spear is far too big for you
you're gonna hurt someone!


sturg and ivy get a level each for that



there's no way thats safe to eat
just, ham sitting around in a metal box in super hot temperatures
yeah im gonna feed that to someone elses mii
probably calamari


time to get windy



return of the megumeme


and there's rocky's level
these guys are a bit weaker than the other team, but they have some serious crowd control


speaking of crowd control, here comes what looks like the easiest battle ever



thunder, THUNDER, THUNDERBOLT!




triple booms!
ivy keeping his status as king of the explosions


calamari watches you sleep owo



bk's about to do something he regrets


bk you look like me in real life
gross and greasy


well i mean
technically


ivy donated a buttload of shampoo to help rectify this horrible choice


mikko tears up an old lady's furniture







and hey, guess what? another 2
i couldnt make this up if i tried

NEXT EPISODE

We continue across Karkaton Peak, getting ever closer to the Dark Lord's Castle!



YOU PLAYED THE GREATEST ROLE
TALKHAUS.EXE

So hey, your old pal BK here
With a much larger party, the question arises:
Who should I use?
Should I do what I do with my mii and roll a dice for it?
Should I put the roster up for a vote and have y'all choose your top three?
Any suggestions are welcome
(P.S. there probably wont be an update tomorrow, since i'll be at college all day)

[Mata Hari]

...Isn't a superhot metal box an oven? That seems like a safe place to put a ham. Someone put it in the volcano to slowcook and you just stole it. Jerk.

[Picochilla]

U really should them level up equally

because u need them all at once at a point

[Katazuki]

You do know you can get that chest up there right?