(shouting)

I wrote a short story.

so this is where you can post any art related type things! i bet you couldn't have figured that out for yourself, huh! "I" still needs uppercase you dummy - oh yeah!? fight me!
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Alexander
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I wrote a short story.

Post by Alexander »

Please tell me what you think.
It's called Nooses and Neckties.
I wrote it for my Creative Writing class, but I decided to put it on my D.A. because it has so little content.
Well, here's the link: http://orbotron.deviantart.com/
What sort of murderer uses a Samurai Slap?
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Alexander
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Re: I wrote a short story.

Post by Alexander »

Yay!
Noone cares!
What sort of murderer uses a Samurai Slap?
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raocow
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Re: I wrote a short story.

Post by raocow »

To be fair, this is the slowest forum EVER, and the whole place was locked down for a big chunk of the day.
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Alexander
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Re: I wrote a short story.

Post by Alexander »

raocow wrote:To be fair, this is the slowest forum EVER, and the whole place was locked down for a big chunk of the day.
I still think oneone cares.
I think that about all my work.
What sort of murderer uses a Samurai Slap?
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Chernobog
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Re: I wrote a short story.

Post by Chernobog »

Alexander wrote:
raocow wrote:To be fair, this is the slowest forum EVER, and the whole place was locked down for a big chunk of the day.
I still think oneone cares.
I think that about all my work.
raocow speaks the truth.

but you need to have more confidence in your stuff, dude, otherwise don't bother putting it up here no matter how dead this forum is.

anyway, I read it, and I didn't think it was bad. You made a ton of little mistakes, mostly spelling ones...
but the story itself was cool. You didn't put much of anything in there but dialogue, but for some reason you didn't really need any. I could see what was going on.
It wasn't anything special, but I mean, not enough happens for it to be. It's like a little chunk of a story. I could go on and on and pick out every little thing you didn't do that could've made it a tiny bit better in my opinion, but you don't seem like you care enough about it, so I won't bother.
But your dialogue was good...I always struggle with dialogue.
Anyway. That's all I've got to say for now.
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Tito Approved
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Re: I wrote a short story.

Post by Tito Approved »

I can't for my life remember what the hell i read because of all the spelling mistakes.
I'm boss
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