Stories

[Chdata]

So we had to make a gothic story in class based off of a randomly named object by the teacher.

My object was a football.


At Alansveld High School in Texas, there is a little unacknowledged tradition. Every Monday, a kindly, senile, old man named Fred Q. Tobeius donates four footballs. During every weekend, a student seems to either drop out, move, or transfer to another school. For example, Dalton dropped out on a Friday. The next Monday, the old man delivered four footballs like he always does. The Friday a week later, Brandon moved to Florida. Four more footballs appeared for the school. So one day, a curious student named Jeminia decided to visit the old man to ponder on his football making technique and materials. Jeminia didn't return to school that Monday. And on that day, the old man delivered eight footballs to the school.


The teacher read everyone's stories out loud and no one got it till the last sentence.

[limepie20]

Haha awesome story. I got it on the second to last sentence.

[Aposke]

It's one of those "wait, I don't really get it... OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH i see"-stories.
Short n sweet, wouldn't mind seeing a few more of these if you find the time :)

[Chdata]

It was a one time thing in my class I think, but go ahead and name random objects and I may or may not think of something.

[limepie20]

A bicycle with training wheels.

[Chdata]

No waayyy I've been looking through the papers I kept from years ago for this for a long time now.

Anyway, so this isn't a useless bump, have a dream.

11/28/2011 5:45:28 PM [c=21]Machiavelli[/c] Oh my god
11/28/2011 5:45:31 PM [c=21]Machiavelli[/c] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P2YSuT1JIn8
11/28/2011 5:45:43 PM [c=21]Machiavelli[/c] This was in the radio stream
11/29/2011 2:54:06 AM [c=21]Machiavelli[/c] 2:53am wake up after reversing a nightmare
11/29/2011 2:54:50 AM [c=21]Machiavelli[/c] Hostage situation: I'm attempted to be killed by some maniac girl shooting at me (with a strange weapon called 'butterflies. Blue and bird shaped, flies at an arc, fast, and bounces once before stopping the next time it hits something) but a policeman arrives on scene and gives me a ride
11/29/2011 2:55:16 AM [c=21]Machiavelli[/c] I ask which police station he's from
11/29/2011 2:55:26 AM [c=21]Machiavelli[/c] "The one that's righhttt here." *Evil chuckle*
11/29/2011 2:55:53 AM [c=21]Machiavelli[/c] I go in to punch him in the back of the neck but I'm scared and confused and can't really hit him right
11/29/2011 2:56:12 AM [c=21]Machiavelli[/c] He only dodges then puts a drugged napkin up to my face for a few seconds
11/29/2011 2:56:38 AM [c=21]Machiavelli[/c] However I react fast enough not to breath in and kinda breath out during this (lol does that work?)
11/29/2011 2:56:52 AM [c=21]Machiavelli[/c] I move my head to the left and pretend I'm unconcious
11/29/2011 2:57:25 AM [c=21]Machiavelli[/c] He drives very fast. Eventually I decide to clap his ears when I think it's safe enough to do so
11/29/2011 2:57:36 AM [c=21]Machiavelli[/c] we're driving through town, lots of cars around
11/29/2011 2:57:53 AM [c=21]Machiavelli[/c] «I wakes up
11/29/2011 2:58:00 AM [c=21]Machiavelli[/c] «I goes back to sleep
11/29/2011 2:58:24 AM [c=21]Machiavelli[/c] lol have a story, Dai
11/29/2011 6:58:55 PM [c=21]Machiavelli[/c] did you see Puni's theme song which I linked yesterday
11/29/2011 6:59:07 PM [c=9]Daiyousei[/c] lol
11/29/2011 6:59:25 PM [c=9]Daiyousei[/c] I always imagine Punisher's theme song as Puddi Puddi
11/29/2011 6:59:33 PM [c=21]Machiavelli[/c] Punni Punni
11/29/2011 7:00:04 PM [c=21]Machiavelli[/c] lol lord of the rings reference in runescape's latest update
11/29/2011 7:00:13 PM [c=21]Machiavelli[/c] what's the name of that thing that has the ring
11/29/2011 7:00:17 PM [c=21]Machiavelli[/c] "Preciuouusss"
11/29/2011 7:01:05 PM [c=21]Machiavelli[/c] Can I buy your costume?
11/29/2011 7:01:24 PM [c=21]Machiavelli[/c] The young lady wants to buy our clothes. If we sell it our clothes, we'll be naked.
11/29/2011 7:01:31 PM [c=21]Machiavelli[/c] (This is one person)
11/29/2011 7:01:38 PM [c=21]Machiavelli[/c] olo
11/29/2011 7:07:45 PM [c=9]Daiyousei[/c] lol

I'll make it less horrible to read later.

[Chdata]

This is one of the dreams I recorded.

Satori and I lay there, our eyes half closed, facing eachother, holding eachother. Neither of us showed much emotion, but that was normal for both of us.

Me: *Thinking* ~Hmm, so it's fine if I communicate just by thinking like this? -She feels so soft- How deeply can you read into minds? Only what I think now? Memories? Things I'm not thinking now but thought before?~

Sa: Your mind is open, even without me reading it.

Me: ~Ah... so you can see it -Minds get easily side tracked- all. Wait, why would I communicate like this...~ *Speaking* When I could talk directly like this?

Sa: It is fine if you just think.

Me: ~Yea, I figured you wouldn't be one to feel something "symbolic" or something that makes us "closer" by me doing -ooh if I could read minds too- that. It's silly really...~

Sa: Indeed... *She giggles a little.*

Me: ~Hey, a giggle! O.o -She can see my thoughts- Sorry... I'm just so used to... I only ever see you alone, emotionless. Do you ever do anything for yourself? Do you ever have fun? You only ever seem to worry about your sister... selflessly. Do you do anything that makes you happy? Do you ever do anything for something you want? -Or perhaps all she wants is for your sister to be happy?- ~

Sa: I... I'm... happy you're here... *She hugs a little tighter*

Me: ~ -Let's keep it professional... What? Do I even have to say that to myself? -And technically her.. you- No... she isn't a kind of person to be like that... far from it...- ~

Me: ~Why is she... how is she.. why did you decide to do -hurtful minds- this? I'm only a human -most of us are idiots- like the others -who hurt you- that you wanted to protect your sister from -by closing her eye-. You can see deep enough into my thoughts -I share some of the same hateful ideas as them-, how can you accept me?~

Sa: When I first saw you... it was with complete disgust. But then I saw your mind... *She closes her eyes.* The way you think... is unique. Compared to the wretched who are full only of greed and lust. In fact... you are the first... and only... to actually think of me the way you do... You want to... love. There are no lies, to yourself or me. You do have some thoughts that are a bit... something, but you repel them to a clean point instead of letting them run rampant like all the others. You try to see me for who I am... you're also the only one... *She opens her eyes* who's ever shown concern for me... I, who does nothing but care for my sister, only out of hatred of you humans... And now, care for you... a human. I almost forget you are even human.

Me: ~I imagi- ~

Sa: Yes, the thoughts of nearly all of your kind are absolutely disgusting.

Me: ~It must be horrible... especially...~

Sa: Those are the worst kind of scum, those pretenders! They pretend they are sincere, that they are "pure".

Me: ~Not even I'm pure... almost nothing is.~

Sa: But all they want is to fulfil their own greed and lust... especially lust. It's sickening.

Me: It's just so -they're annoying to even think about- ugh. My own kind "gives themselves a bad name" and I acknowledge it.~

Sa: You're different, not like your own kind. *A few minutes of silence.* You're getting sleepy...

Me: ~I only do have a human body to encompass my mind... but... if we actually... not that I don't want... you've seen the thoughts... if...~

Sa: We fell in love? I believe it's already happened.

Me: *Feels my heart race for a moment.* ~But as I said.... I'm only human... you're a youkai. My life span isn't as long as yours. It would cause you even more pain in the end... than your past. How... can we "be"?~

Sa: I've worried about that too... but look at-

Me: ~Alice Margatroid?~

Sa: *She giggles again* Yes, her. She was once a human. Now she's a youkai, that shut-in.

Me: ~ -She's one to talk- Er, sorry. I've heard too, that Remilia's fate powers could even affect something like this... but she might decide to "play with us" or not even do anything... and it would just be so greedy to go up to her and ask for something like this. -she might do it on her own if she sees us, or might decide to hurt you by doing something to me.- Besides, she's a risky person.~

Sa: I wouldn't blame you if you tried. Perhaps you could even become like me, and have a third eye. You do show some interesting psychokinetic signs...

Me: ~I didn't think you would. *My eyes close.* I wonder if I'll dream for once.~ *I fall asleep.*

Sa: Sleep well...

The Satori in this story has a background of having been raped by humans or at least attempted too and is basically a misanthrope because of it but also very protective and supportive of her sister who she doesn't want to suffer what she did. She also mostly spends time alone.

[Chdata]

I stole this from someone and edited into my version and it's on my Steam.

You thought I didn't know?
Since I can always see through people's minds
I'm powerful

I know it all.
Lunatic eye, unblinking, time of strength
Your true intention is leaking out
Even in silence, I hear; I use this insight

You thought I was an ordinary being?
Noone can conceal everything from me
It's just like that

Some say I know too much
Lunatic eye, observing, devious eye
You could stay quiet. Hide.
It doesn't matter. I'll find out eventually.

Because of these words
I'm powerful
Without them,
I am as weak as them

I'm the one who knows it all
Lunatic eye, critical, analyzing
I am not afraid.
Knowledge is power; Don't let it blind you

I am a lunatic. I am unfettered.

And here's what I made that from.

You thought I wouldn't call out to you?
Since I can always see through people's hearts
I'm lonely

I've learned too much
Third eye, tearful, time of weakness
Your true intention is leaking out
Even in silence, I hear; I don't want to know

You thought I was a plain girl?
Everyone's feelings are broadcasted
Just like that

I've learned too much
Third eye, tearful, evil eye
Couldn't you stay quiet for a bit?
In both ears, it's annoying; I don't want to know

Because of these words
I'm feared
Without them,
I'd be able to be close to them

I'm a girl who knew too much
Third eye, discerning, enlightening
I don't want to know anymore
Silence is golden; I don't want to know

知りすぎた少女さとり
Satori, The Girl Who Knew Too Much

It comes from translated lyrics from a song with some words changed to actually make sense.

[Chdata]

Ignore how stupid this is I made it years ago.

The Story of Big Al the Sofa King Sheet Man from Beecher

There once was a guy named AI. He started a business, selling sheets and sofas.
One day, a rare and wonderful thing happened... He had a customer!

Customer: "My sofa makes me so itchy, do you have any recommendations? I even bit
my itch and almost cut my arm off!"
Al: "You bit itch?"
Customer: "What? Is that even good grammar?"
Al: "Youza bit itch?"
Customer: "Yes! I bit my itch! But I want a new sofa!!!"
Al: "Aha! You in the place! I am the Sofa King! And you seek Sofas!"
Customer: Ok, but ...
Al: "I am also called Sheet Man!!!"
Customer: "What?! I said sofas not sheets I don't need any sheet. Listen, do you have
sofa's or not?"
Al: "DO THE MARIO! ! !"
Customer: "Whaaa ... "
Al: Do the Mario!!! !. .. Swing your arms, from side to side. Come on it's time to go, do
the Mario! Take one step, and then again let's do the Mario! All together now!
Customer: ...
Al: You got it! It's the Mario! (Repeats song about three times.)
Customer: "You're not from here are you ... "
Al: "I'ma Big Al the Sofa King Sheet man from Beecher. Do you want sheet? I even
have double sheet, three sheet, pieces of sheet, half sheet, and BIG sheet."
Customer: "No I don't want your sheets! I want sofas! Ok, I'm leaving now!"
Al: "Now you back later sonny."
Customer: "Actually ... this sheet looks nice and soft ... "
Al: "Why yaasss ... Thaaat isss a nice piece of sheet isn't it? One ofthe best pieces it is.
Of course, you never want all pieces, because that's a lot of sheet!"
Customer: "Ok, I'll buy it. How much?
Al: A buck fifty. When will you pay me?
Customer: I think I'll give it to you now.
Al: Ok, that's good. Bye! I hope you like your sheet. Visit Sofa King again!

[Ometeotl]

Ok, it's probably because it's 3 in the morning, but I don't get the story in the opening post. It seems like it wants you to believe from the beginning that the old guy made the footballs out of the missing kid, but I don't get how that leads to 8 footballs when the girl disappears.

[AUS]

Is it a fat joke?