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Head Researcher [AOD] and his faithful assistant raocow

so this is where you can post any art related type things! i bet you couldn't have figured that out for yourself, huh! "I" still needs uppercase you dummy - oh yeah!? fight me!
Aposke
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Head Researcher [AOD] and his faithful assistant raocow

Post by Aposke »

Remember the good ol' times back in the spring of 2010, when AOD played Super Mario World for the first time in his entire life, and raocow was there by his side to teach and assist him?

I find it kind of sad that they appearently stopped making videos, and after re-watching the entire series recently, an idea came to my mind.
The descriptions.
I've always loved them, they created something like a "story" around the video content, and so I went ahead and tried to pack this loosely preset "story environment" into a story of my own.

This is the outcome.

Working title:
raocow'D - The Story of Head Researcher [AOD] and his faithful assistant
(Suggestions for a better title are more than appreciated!)

Chapter One GO!

[TRANSMISSION RECIEVED]
... What has this turned into?
There is noone left...
Everything... vanishing into the darkness...
We have failed.
The price we need to pay for this is too high.
Abandon the project, stop it this instant, and never let it see the light of day again...
Drifting off... What do I have left to lose?
It's my fault after all, I decided to take over the damn thing, everything...
I shouldn't have been so greedy, now it broke out, it all broke apart, there is no returning back.
Fading... Into nothingness...
The night, so wonderful ~

[TRANSMISSION END]


Chapter 1
The offer

A long, empty corridor.
I came here to prove who I am. After all the years of going unnoticed, finally I have the chance to prove my abilities.
I am Dr. AOD, Professor at the University of Toronto and a passionate sci-fi fan.
For 6 years now, I've been educating the electronic engineers of tomorrow, but I've never really been happy with my job since my childhood dream was that one day, I could work with dimensional teleporters and stuff.
Today could be the day that my childhood dream becomes true.
A few weeks earlier, I recieved a phone call from a weird facility in Quebec, called the SNES - Supreme Novel Engineering Studio - during which a friendly sounding woman told me that the studio was searching for job applicants for their "Dimensional Shower Curtain Testing Program".
Hearing the word "Dimensional", I was hooked instantly. After a few more calls and a romantic candle light dinner in the best italian restaurant in Quebec, she offered me a job interview with the head of the facility.
And that's how I got here, just a few steps away from the border between becoming a dimensional researcher and going back to University.
Actually, I'm more than a few steps away, since the door to the manager's office is at the end of this corridor...
What is this useless long corridor for anyways?
Do they just want to make applicants who have to walk through this feel small and useless, compared to the tremendous hugeness of this building? Cause that's kinda what I feel like now...
I pity the secretary of this guy, having to walk through this every morning, bringing him his coffee and perhaps his favourite type of croissant...

Finally, I arrived. Felt like I was walking for an hour, but I believe I'm still on time...
Damnit, one minute too late.
Well, here goes nothing...


"Good morning Mr. AOD, please come over and take a seat."
What
The
Heck.
The office of this guy is like half the size of that damn corridor I just walked through.
To "come over and take a seat", I'd need to do a 2 minute walk! I can barely even see the guy!

"Can't I just stay here? You... seem to be kind of far away..."
"Oh no! I'm terribly sorry for this, Mr. AOD, I forgot to turn the dimensional destabilizer off!"
The dimensional desta-
What
The
H- OH MY GOD WHAT IS THIS?!

"I'm really sorry, I made such an inexcusable mistake, I hope you are not irritated?"
The whole room just shrunk by... a few hundred meters...
"I... Irritated? Me? N-n-no...
I'm... scared."
"Again, please take my apologies, I didn't want to let you in on our... technology status yet."
"So... Does that mean you have developed a technology to..."
"Stretch space? Oh, that's an old thing, we developed that back in the 90's."
"The... 90's?"
"Yea, that's old hat. In more recent news, we've discovered two whole new dimensions!"
"You are not serious, now are you? This is some kind of trick, right?"
"And in order to explore and document these dimensions, we need more advanced researchers. Researchers who fulfill special requirements..."
He just ignored my sentence...
So, is this all real?
No, this can't be, it would have been on the news or SOMETHING. Geez. Common sense!

"Sorry to interrupt you, but I simply refuse to believe that this is all true. I just can't imagine that -"
"Here. Let me show you something."
He stood up!
Wait, what is he doing? Looks like he just pressed a button of some kind near his desk, but seriously, what is he trying to accomplish? Huh?
The floor is opening, slowly revealing a big screen. The way it gets elevated out of the ground looks pretty neat.
It's turning on...
Wait, what is this?
He has got to be kidding!

"This is a very interesting dimension we've recently discovered. Now, I know this might seem strange to you, but listen."
"B-but this is-!"
"You know the content on this screen because you remember it from your childhood, don't you?"
"I-I have never-"
"This is the dimension we've discovered. I don't know WHY it is there, but I know that it exists, we've already sent 2 exploration troops there, and they confirmed it."
"That is IMPOSSIBLE!"
"No it is NOT!"
Whoa, no need to slam on the desk there!
"Don't you understand? This is a giant world, and you have already visited it! You're one of the few people who have the intelligence AND the experience to explore it!"
"Listen, I have never even pl-"
Wait... If I tell him that I've never had to do anything with this, he's not going to need me anymore... I will miss my only chance to work with advanced dimension technology...
"I-I mean... Nevermind."
"Nevermind what?"
"I know this!"
"Of course you do, you played this game all day long when you were a kid!"
"So you're saying this is actually a real dimension?"
"Yes, for some reason, it looks JUST like the game!"
"Could it be possible that Nintendo knew about this?"
"Back then, in 1992? Impossible."
"But then... How did this evolve?"
"I don't know, but if you want to take the job, you may be the one to find out."
[AOD]
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Re: Head Researcher [AOD] and his faithful assistant raocow

Post by [AOD] »

HAHAHA! Brilliant! I've never had fanfiction written about me before! Keep it up, buddy!

!~[AOD]
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kilon
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Re: Head Researcher [AOD] and his faithful assistant raocow

Post by kilon »

Can't wait to read the rest! Great start
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Aposke
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Re: Head Researcher [AOD] and his faithful assistant raocow

Post by Aposke »

[AOD] wrote:HAHAHA! Brilliant! I've never had fanfiction written about me before! Keep it up, buddy!

!~[AOD]
Thanks AOD, it's great to see that you like it.
Same goes to you kilon!

Movin' on then!

Chapter 2
raocow

"Isn't it kinda dark in here?"
"Yeah, the lights are still being installed. Your research room however is already powered up and ready to go."
"Thanks... I guess I can get on by myself from here on."
"Okay, take your time and make yourself familiar with your new working place. Bye!"
The lady who lead me through the whole facility just left me...
Actually, I lied. I can't get on by myself here...
I don't even know where to go, it's so god damn dark!
And the silence in here is actually pretty creepy...
Wait, there's a lit room right over there! That must be my office!
It doesn't look very big though, more like some kind of storage room...
Wait, I see someone in there... Who is that?

"Hey there everyone, this is raocow!"
"What?"
"I'm cleaning the room, OH MAN!"
"Wait... Who are you?"
"Me? I'm just an ordinary guy, doing the cleaning and stuff... Checking the laundromat for leaks and such, you know?"
"So you're some kind of janitor?"
"If you want to put it that way, yes."
"Well, I'm Dr. AOD, I'm the new project supervisor." This guy is really, really weird...
"New project? What project?"
"The one about the newly discovered dimension!"
"Oh, that whacky one that looks like Super Mario World?"
"Yes... Exactly... So, is everything in there ready? I'd like to familiarize myself with the -"
"Oh of course, no problem... Everything's ready... Don't mind me, I'm just the freaking janitor."
Whoa, he suddenly sounds kind of angry...
"Are you sure? I could wait here if you still need to do something..."
"Okay then, see you later!"
Wait... He just left? But he was midway through cleaning, and...
He sounded really weird.
Oh well, I'm just gonna forget about him now and check out my new working place.
Good thing my new employer let me time to quit my job over at the university. I never really liked that place anyways...
But this here looks pretty neat. A bit like the innards of a spaceship, with all the strange pipes and whatnot on the walls.

"Do I really look like a janitor?"
AAHH!
W-w-w-where did that come from?


"Do I look like a FREAKING janitor?"
Wait... Isn't that...
"I am an approved man of science!"
Should I... answer him?
But how?
I don't even know where he is!

"B-but you said you were cleaning the room, so I-"
"And you believed me?!
What are you, a freaking cat?"
"N-no... I-I'm sorry..."
"I was assigned to be your freaking assistent researcher! Don't tell me noone told you that!"
"They really didn't... I'm... sorry?"
Where is his voice coming from? The speakers on the wall of this room?
"Just come over here, and we'll handle this like real men!"
"Wait... We can just talk about things!"
"Talk about things?! Talk about me doing the laundromat repair!"
But how can he hear me... And where is he? He can't be far away, so...
"Someone as important as me doesn't repair the freaking laundromat!"
Wait, that came from behind me-
AAHH GET AWAY FROM ME!
Damnit, I can't escape! There's a freaking wall some-

"DO I STILL LOOK LIKE A FREAKING JANITOR TO YOU?!"
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please don't kill me! I'll do anything, just don't, don't kill me..."
"OH, SUDDENLY YOU'RE THE CHICKEDEE HERE. ISN'T THAT INTERESTING!"
Oh god, I'll die on my first day of work through the hands of my assistent researcher... This can't be true...
"Hehe... Just close your eyes, it won't hurt much that way..."
In the panic, I actually closed my eyes, trying to shield me from this insane person.
"WAIT!"
Huh? Whose voice is that?
"raocow, what the HELL are you doing? This is the new project supervisor!"
He...
"DON'T YOU THINK I KNOW?"
"Then why are you attacking him?"
"HE CALLED ME A JANITOR!"
"Oh jesus. I knew this would happen some day..."
I managed to open my eyes... Good...
Wait, is that my boss?
Why is he here?

"Mr. AOD, please excuse this terrible incident... Can you get up?"
He's trying to help me... I don't need his help though...
"No, I... I'm okay."
"I'm really sorry for my employee, he... is a bit..."
"Choose your words carefully Tom, I don't want to have to kill you too..."
"He acts that way sometimes... It's best to just leave him alone at times."
He acts that way sometimes? That's no excuse! He almost murdered me!
"You expect me to team up with such an INSANE person?"
"raocow, can you please wait outside while we talk?"
"Hrmph."
Wow, he actually left the room. And he even closed the door.
"Listen Mr. AOD, I'm really sorry, but this person is the only one I could find who came into question as an assistent researcher."
The only one?
"If you two can't get along with each other, the project is highly endangered!"
"See, I was trying to get along with him, but he attacked me!"
"He did that because you called him a janitor!"
"So what? I made a small mistake, that's excusable!"
"But not for him! His father was a janitor!"
"So what? It's not like I insulted him or anything..."
"raocow is just extremely... vulnerable when it comes to his parents..."
Sounds like he's trying to say that inside, that maniac is really just a hurt and confused little kid...
"So what am I supposed to do now anyways?"
"I'll talk to him, and make sure he doesn't attack you again. But you'll need to build up confidence if you want to keep the project running."
"Sigh. Fine, I'll try to forget everything that happened in the last few minutes."
"Thanks. I'll do my best to set things right now."
He left.
What a shock. I need some rest. Ah, a chair.
Seriously, what is up with that guy? How can a maniac like him be allowed to work here?
I... *yawn* am tired...
[AOD]
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Re: Head Researcher [AOD] and his faithful assistant raocow

Post by [AOD] »

inside, that maniac is really just a hurt and confused little kid...
Good lord how are you so true to life??! HOW DOES HE KNOW??!

?!~[AOD]
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kilon
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Re: Head Researcher [AOD] and his faithful assistant raocow

Post by kilon »

Wow, pretty extreme reaction there from raocow. How will you manage to work with such a human being?
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Re: Head Researcher [AOD] and his faithful assistant raocow

Post by Chdata »

Haha you're awesome at telling stories out of nowhere.
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Trouble with a capital COW.

<math>\tan{A}\sin{N}</math>
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Re: Head Researcher [AOD] and his faithful assistant raocow

Post by frickinawesum »

Hahaha why hasn't raocow read this yet! This is pretty neato, keep writing Aposke : D
blep.
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Re: Head Researcher [AOD] and his faithful assistant raocow

Post by Aposke »

[AOD] wrote:
inside, that maniac is really just a hurt and confused little kid...
Good lord how are you so true to life??! HOW DOES HE KNOW??!

?!~[AOD]
I'm watching his videos, that's how I know.
chdata wrote:Haha you're awesome at telling stories out of nowhere.
Hahaha why hasn't raocow read this yet! This is pretty neato, keep writing Aposke : D
Thanks you two, I'll keep on writing for sure!
In fact, here's the next part:

Chapter 3
How about some coffee?

"I am going to EAT you!"
"AAAHHH!" Who... WHAT?
"raocow, YOU?!"
"Don't worry! I was just joking around! Jesus godhell, what's with you and taking everything so seriously?"
"I... I-I was asleep... I was just... surprised..." Why do I have the feeling that working with this guy will be pure pain?
"Whatever, today's our first research day!"
"You mean... I slept here all the night?"
"Yea, pretty much. But don't worry, I sleep here too, so we're equal or something."
"Oh great... So... What exactly is the schedule for today?"
"How should I know? I'm just a jani- I mean your assistant." I got really scared there for a moment...
"Okay, so how about this:
I go up to the first floor, get us some coffee and the schedule papers, and then we start the tests and stuff?"
"Sounds okay. In the meantime, I'll check the appliances down here."
"Good. See you." The less time I have to spend with this manic pseudo-professor, the better...

Soo... Coffee vending machine... What do you have in stock?
Hmmm...
Coffee with or without milk,
Cappuchino,
Latte Macchiato,
Hot Latino Coffee...
and a button that was pasted over with a note reading "Dangerous. Contains hyperpolarization-activated cyclic nucleatide-gated potassium"
What a strange facility...


"Hey, I'm back!"
"Good! You've got the schedule papers and the coffee?"
"Yea, but I didn't know which coffee you wanted, so I just brought you a normal one with milk. Is that okay?" Please don't try to kill me again... Please?
"Oh, that's allright."
"Really?!" He may not be that bad at all-
"No. I prefer tea coffee, but I suppose you couldn't see that by the official tea coffee-fan emblem, which is burned into my neck skin, now COULD YOU?"
"Burned into WHAT?"
"Nevermind... But please do it right next time, okay?"
"Sure, I'll remember..."
"Hey, the lights just turned on!"
"Hmm?" I'm still drinking my coffee dammit, I don't -
This...
"Come on, let's get to work!"
This...!
"What's wrong AOD? Are you surprised?"
THIS!!!
"Come on, a five times five miles big research center is nothing new to you, right?"
"It... is."
I mean... The whole room just... it's... you can't even see the opposite wall!!
"Really? Whow, you clearly haven't worked at Area 51 before."
"Have... you?"
"Sure! Their main underground hall is 20 times this size!"
"But... how?" Oh wait, actually, I remember...
Yea... The thing about space deformation... Using the... how did he call it?
Dimensional destabilizer? Thinking of it, that doesn't sound very safe, now does it?

"- surely he must have told you about the destabilizer, didn't he?"
"Huh? Yea... he did... I forgot."
"So let's get it going!"
Looking outside again, I actually was too surprised before to notice it, but there's a weird looking thing on the left wall, about one mile away from us... Kind of looks like one of those teleporters you see in Star Gate...
Oh, he's left the room already... Well, I'll follow him and ask him if he knows anything about that thing.

"Hey raocow, do you know what that is?"
"Of course I know! That's our dimension transporter! It can shift up to 5 people at once to given coordinates in another dimension!"
"Wait, but... I haven't even had time to read through all the explaination paperwork on my desk! How am I supposed to work with something that I never have seen before and that could as well be something out of a sci-fi film?"
"The manager told me you're a big sci-fi fan..."
"Yes..."
"He says his team built it in a way that allows intuitive usage and handling for people who watch the show Star Gate!"
This guy is not serious.
"Honestly?"
"Honestly."
"Sounds too cool to be true. I'll try it out though." He has got to be kidding me.
Then again, a lot of very weird things have happened here already, so I guess it could be true.
Let's try out the button that looks like the portal opener in Star Gate...

"See? I told you it'd work!"
It... It is beautiful...
I... I'm tempted to just go in and see where it leads me, but...

"Whoa, hold your horses, this is dangerous! I thought you'd knew how to operate this!"
"Of course... Let's see.
The schedule papers say that the coordinates for the Super Mario World dimension are..."
I just said it...
Super Mario World dimension.
How weird this sounds...
After I saw the dimension for the first time on that giant LCD screen in the manager's office...
I couldn't believe it.
It was not understandable for me, and I doubt anyone else would have understood it.
The manager then continued to show me footage that the first exploration team had filmed.
It looked just like SMW.
There was NO doubt about it.
They panned the camera 360 degrees, and it was all real.
Everything was moving, everything was there, even the wind in the background, a rex roaring on a nearby hill and a lakitu floating about in the sky.
It was nothing you could do with the help of a 3D-program.
The manager then proceeded to show me footage of what he called the "first level", where the 3 explorers found themselves fighting flying turtles and sumo-like beavers or something, I don't know.
Thinking about this, if I really needed to enter this dimension, I'd probably die on my first try, since I lied to my employer when I said that I had already played SMW. I never had, but I felt that if I denied having played it, I wouldn't have gotten the job I've always dreamt about.
Back to the video footage...
After a few seconds, the camera zoomed into one of the crewmembers being attacked by a flying turtle!
He got bitten to death very quickly, and that certainly didn't look appetizing...
The other crew members started to panic, but as they tried to run away, they noticed that their friend, who had just died a few seconds ago, reappeared at the beginning of the stage.
My employer then filled me in on how in the SMW dimension, even the gaming rules of SMW take effect on everything and that a person could only die there if they lost all of their gaming lives, which were 5 per person.
For the next few minutes of the video, we saw more and more deaths, until one of the crewmembers suddenly didn't appear anymore.
He had died.
Hurringly, the remaining two got out a thing that looked like a radio set and tried to connect to the teleporter so they could open a gate into our dimension again.
But it didn't seem to work.
Then, suddenly, the video ended.
My manager then continued to talk about the dangers of that dimension, and that I would be the leader of a test project where we would try to navigate a custom built robot through this dimension in order to explore it and find a connection between our and the SMW dimension.

In retrospect, I'm glad I took the opportunity to be part of this, but I'm a bit afraid of my "first contact" with that dimension, which I'm just about to have...

"Hey AOD, wake up!"
"W-What? Oh yeah, right, the coordinates!"
"You've been daydreaming for about a minute there, jesus hell god! Be a bit more focused on this!"
"Yes, you're right, I'm sorry... So, the coordinates written here are 142-551-105"
"Let's try them out!"
"But we don't have that remote controlled robot here yet!"
Relief. We're not going to have to explore this horrid dimension on our own...
"Ugh, right... Wait, we get a robot too?!"
"Looks like our boss isn't the greatest when it comes to informing his workers..."
Looks like he isn't the greatest when it comes to choosing his workers either...
"Wait, what's that over there?"
"What?"
"Are you freaking blind AOD?
It's too huge to miss it!
Over there, at the door!"
"Hmm, looks like... a machine thingy... Is that the bot?"
"I doubt it, but let's go over there and find out what it is."

Upon closer inspection, it actually does seem like the remote controlled robot raocow was talking about...
It's a humanoid robot-thing, made out of steel, with a long antenna on it's head.
Wait a second...
This robot looks just like-

"Heh, look at that!
It says MarioBot M2000 on it's front!"
Even though I've never played any Mario game during my entire lifespan, I've seen this italian plumber on TV and the Internet a few times...
As far as I can tell, this is pretty much an exact replica of his figure, resized to about 2 meters height.

"Okay, AOD, let's get back to the control room, we'll need to practise moving this guy around for a bit!"
"Umm... Sure..."
Man, he sure approaches this whole thing with alot of enthusiasm...
I wonder if he's worked in similar projects before...
But if he had more experience, wouldn't he be the project leader?

"raocow, have you ever been part of such a dimensional research project before?"
"Me? Ohoh, no. I've only worked on the time travel projects before."
"Time..."
Travel?
"Aww, look at you, you're all confuzzled. Didn't believe time travel would be possible, right?"
"To be honest... No, I don't believe it... After all, if we keep in mind what Einstein has said-"
"Einstein was corrected by other established physicians a few dozen times already! His theories have proven to be largely incomplete and mostly faulty."
"Yes, but the concept of the time-space continuum still-" Whoa, he suddenly turned around!
"Listen, I don't want to argue with you, I've worked for this facility for 3 years already, and I know what I have seen and done. Keep your naive doubts to yourself, and if you still refuse to believe, then it would probably be better for you to just leave the project."
Whoa, that was...
Something.

"I don't know what you're gonna do now, but I'm going to start that thing up and let it head straight for the Mario World. Goodbye."
He enters the control room and forcefully shuts the door behind him.

Maybe he's right...
Wait, he opened it again!

"In case you DO want to continue working on this, I've got an assignment for you right now!"
"But... I'm the project lea-"
"Get me something to drink."
"An- And what?"
"I hope that for your sake that you've remembered what I told you just a couple minutes ago."
And with that statement, he closes the door again, and I'm left standing here, in this giant, brightly illuminated room, somehow feeling alone, and lost.
Last edited by Aposke 13 years ago, edited 1 time in total.
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kilon
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Re: Head Researcher [AOD] and his faithful assistant raocow

Post by kilon »

Maybe you might want to add a '..says raocow or AOD says..
Because the different quotations can be a bit confusing if it goes on for a while
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Re: Head Researcher [AOD] and his faithful assistant raocow

Post by Aposke »

kilon wrote:Maybe you might want to add a '..says raocow or AOD says..
Because the different quotations can be a bit confusing if it goes on for a while
Well, I wanted to base the whole story on the idea that the reader really thinks that he is AOD, so I didn't want to include anything a normal person wouldn't think (like ",says raocow" or "He opens the door and steps outside").
I'll try to compensate by adding more names into the sentences, and if that doesn't work, I'll probably find another way... Don't want to change the style of writing too much there...
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Re: Head Researcher [AOD] and his faithful assistant raocow

Post by [AOD] »

Yay, more updates! =)

!~[AOD]
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Re: Head Researcher [AOD] and his faithful assistant raocow

Post by frickinawesum »

Aposke wrote:I'll try to compensate by adding more names into the sentences
You should totally try that out! but yeap, don't change your narrating style. I think just mentioning their names more frequently on the dialogues would do it (:
How long does it take you to write a full chapter?
blep.
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Re: Head Researcher [AOD] and his faithful assistant raocow

Post by Aposke »

frickinawesum wrote:
Aposke wrote:I'll try to compensate by adding more names into the sentences
You should totally try that out! but yeap, don't change your narrating style. I think just mentioning their names more frequently on the dialogues would do it (:
I tried it out in this new part, tell me if it worked!
frickinawesum wrote:How long does it take you to write a full chapter?
If I'm writing on an interesting, plot-changing part, it usually takes me about 1 to 2 hours, but if I feel like I'm stuck somewhere, it might take 1 or 2 days.
And sometimes I start slacking, which can mean no updates for a week or so.
But so far, I really really like the way this is going, and I'll keep on writing for some more, that's for sure!

Chapter 4
First Contact

I come into the control room, raocow is sitting on my chair.
That is supposed to be MY chair, and yet I am here, bringing him coffee...
Tea Coffee, actually.


"Thanks dooder, that's an awesome cup of tea coffee!"
I feel like a servant or something...
Aren't I supposed to lead the project?!

"So, what were we working at again...?"
"You forgot already? raocow, maybe it'd be better if I took over the project again, and-"
"TAKE OVER?"
Oh god.
I should have just kept my mouth shut, but of course, stupid Prof. Dr. AOD just can not-

"Actually yeah, go right ahead, that's kind of your job anyway."
"What?" Wait, I didn't want to actually say that!
"Yeah, I only did this to see how it's like to be project leader... I've never been one, anyways."
"But I'd never order you to get me something to drink! Seriously, you're my co-worker and not my servant!"
"D.... Do you really mean that...?"
The way he looks up to me...
raocow suddenly looks so... sad...
Did his former superior make him run around and do all the dirty work?

"O-Of course! You're a real scientist, just like me, and together, we will set out to explore this unknown and dangerous dimension!"
"Mr. AOD... Thank you so much..."
"Ah, no need to thank me. And just call me AOD, Mister sounds way too formal. We're collegues!"
raocow does the unimaginable.
He just stands up from the chair and gives me a short, firm hug.

"You're one of the most generous guys I've ever met!
Now, let's get to that thing!"
Still shocked by his sudden explosion of feelings, I only manage to utter a short
"Okay".
raocow has already directed his attention at the control desk again, seemingly playing around with the multitude of keys.
"You know how this thing works?"
"Of course I do! It's just like the device they've got in the time travel department! This will be cake.
Here, take this!"
Hmm, what's this?
Looks like a weird, dog-bone shaped controller of some kind...
What happens if-

"WHOAHO, It works!
That's pretty great!"
I--- I just made that Mario replica robot jump, didn't I?
Oh damn, not having played the game before will surely be a huge problem...
What the hell am I supposed to do now?
If we sent that thing in there, and I have to play, it'll be destroyed in a matter of seconds!


"You're ready, AOD?"
"Umm, can't we-"
"Opening portal in three..."
This will not end well.
"Two..."
I gotta stop him, or my inability to play Super Mario World will endanger the whole project!
"One..."
There's no other way. I need to tell him-
"AND GO!"

"This is, um...
April 23rd... 2010.
Experiment number one...
Umm... I'm AOD, and with me... is my assistant researcher raocow."
Does that sound allright for the project records?
"Hey there. I won't say all of it though..."
"Okay... Umm... We'll just try out the first level then..."
Yoshi's house...
Hmm, now that's an interesting plot, Bowser has captured some princess I've never heard of.

"This is your plot for the game."
"Is that so?"
"Yes, that is your plot, and Yoshi doesn't have furniture. Cause he's a wild animal.
Wild animals need chimneys..."
"Okay... Cool..."
Okay, the first REAL level then...
Yoshi's Island 1.
Got to remember what buttons do what...

"Okay, so this is it, there you go, it's starting, OH MAAANN!!!
WATCH OUT!!! OH MAN!!!"
Geez, calm down...
Okay, how do I-
WHA!

"Ah- no!
Dammit."
"OH MAN!
So... that's as far as you've ever gone I reckon?"
Wait- How did he figure it out that quickly?!
"N-No! Of course not! I just need some time to re-familiarize myself with the game mechanics!"

...

Man, this guy surely has a manic laugh...
"Be honest. You've never played this game, have you?"
"I-"
"You game over'd at a HOLE right besides the midway point."
There's not much sense in lying to him any more...
"You... You're right. This is pretty much the first time I play Super Mario World."
"You will need alot of practise if you want to make it through the whole game then."
"Couldn't you just play it?"
"I could until a few years ago... Something happened to my fingers, I'd rather not get into detail with things and things..."
For such a happy and lively guy, he seems to have had quite a mysterious and dark past...
"Anyways, how about I teach you all about the wonders and mysteries of Super Mario World?
The course is only 15,99 per hour!"
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Re: Head Researcher [AOD] and his faithful assistant raocow

Post by TheFlippedSides »

Even though I'm not one for fanfiction, this is coming along quite nicely. Keep up the good work, Aposke!
Aposke
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Re: Head Researcher [AOD] and his faithful assistant raocow

Post by Aposke »

TheFlippedSides wrote:Even though I'm not one for fanfiction, this is coming along quite nicely. Keep up the good work, Aposke!
Thanks for the comment! It's great to see people enjoy my little story thing (can you really call it fanfiction?).

Anyways, here is Part 5:

Chapter 5
Researcher's Log, 2010.04.26

And so raocow became my teacher for playing this fun but sometimes frustrating game.
His lessons only consisted of letting me play through the levels over and over again, and giving me tips on how to tackle certain parts of a stage or general descriptions of useful objects, like the "Midway Point".
Today, we've been working for 6 hours on this already, and we've lost 3 Mariobots so far, which - of course - couldn't have gone unnoticed by my boss.
However somehow, these things just kept entering the giant research room, it almost seemed like they were respawning or something. But when I went out and back to my home yesterday night, I couldn't spot any kind of machinery or something that could've produced those big Mario robots...
This whole facility is just weird.
And I died again.
Learning this game will be a pain...


"This is just a perfect start you see...
Test Subject M is healthy and cooperative."
"You- You got mobbed there."
Damn right, this is like the 10th time I'm dying or something...
Really, I gotta concentrate more!
"Okay, let's try this again!"
Okay, I got the koopa shell...
I need to throw it...
How do I throw again?!

"WAH!"
Oh god, raocow started laughing again.
After a while, that laugh really grows on me... I'm starting to find it hilarious.
Is that a good thing or a bad thing?


...


"Experiment 2... Uh...
We have continued this fight of massive public outcry...
After the success of experiment 1.
And by the end of this one, I have learned that Charging Charlie, and other associated football players, as well as things with shells, tails, green skin and tongues are...
Notoriously difficult to work with.
I'm AOD..."
"And... I'm Christopher Columbus."
"He's a liar. That's raocow."

"Dude, don't you think you messed up the recording pretty bad?"
"What? I mean, everyone knows that I'm raocow, so there's no need to repeat that every freaking time. Might as well call myself Christopher Columbus or Roger Moore or something."
"I really hope our boss takes this with the same ease."
"Yea, don't worry, he's pretty cool with such things."
I take it he's done stuff like that before already...
"So yeah, seems like we're done here, eh, raocow?"
"Well, we are. At least for today."
"Okay, guess I'm gonna continue the researcher's log now, and then we can knock off."

Let's see...
Where do we have that oldschool paper notebook? It's not on the control desk where I put it yesterday, so where could it have gone?

"raocow, you know anything about that reseacher's log?"
raocow?
Hey, he's gone!
What the hell?
Ah well, I guess he just decided to call it a day, we've been sitting in here for a long time already, he's probably just as tired as I am...
I wonder where he goes after work.
Maybe he heads for the next bar and spends his money on drinks with some locals...
Then again, this facility is like 20 miles away from Quebec, and he still has to drive home and stuff.
But judging from his character, he might very well be one of those guys who just never get tired at all...

Ah! I found it!
Someone... Well, I guess it's safe to assume it was raocow - put it in some sort of small bucket.
It looks kind of like a sand bucket, the kind of things children use when they want to build sandcastles...
On its front, there is a big, badly drawn picture of a slice of ham, and under the picture, someone painted the words "BUCKET OF HAM" on it.
This raocow guy sure is... something.



RESEARCHER'S LOG, 2010.04.26

--------------------------------------

Our second in this series of trials concerning dexterous manual assistance of
[TEST SUBJECT M] through this obstacle-filled environment has been completed. Preliminary analysis indicates a 30-45% increase in success rate and survivability, as well as efficiency. However, this increased efficiency has been compounded by the fact that the complexity of these manual operations has also increased proportionately to the survival rate.
Furthermore, [TEST SUBJECT M] has encountered a reptilian specimen that seems to be benign, yet whose behavior and experimental parameters are currently out of the bounds of our study. Synergistic effects between [TEST SUBJECT M] and [LIZARD SPECIMEN Y] are anticipated to come under scrutiny in the near future.

Of special note is that we have isolated and contained the source of so-called [CURSOR] contamination.
If all goes well, the test zone shall be free from all such contaminants in the future. Further study will be conducted. In our next trial we expect to explore the area identified on the environment map as [YELLOW_SWITCH_PALACE]. We anticipate a high probability of success, since initial hypotheses made by assistant researcher raocow seem to suggest that [YELLOW_SWITCH_PALACE] is a relatively benign area.


Okay, I guess that's it.
Time to drive back home... Oh lord, it's past midnight already.
Weird... Somehow, I'm not that tired at all, although I probably should be.
Could it be that I'm already getting used to working all day?
Well, it's time to head home nonetheless, I'll just leave this giant hallway now, and-


"Hey there everyone, this is raocow!"
"W-" raocow?
The hell?

"I've waited here for you, because I wanted to show you something!"
"R-raocow, it's almost 1 AM! How can you-"
"When you see the place I'm going to take you to, you will never want to leave it ever again."
Seriously, that's nice and all, but couldn't we just do that another d-
"To the Raomobile!"
[AOD]
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Re: Head Researcher [AOD] and his faithful assistant raocow

Post by [AOD] »

Hah, neat! I love how you've incorporated my own accompanying notes and descriptions into this.

:D

Keep it up!

!~[AOD]
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Re: Head Researcher [AOD] and his faithful assistant raocow

Post by raocow »

man, this 'raocow' fellah is a class A jerk
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Re: Head Researcher [AOD] and his faithful assistant raocow

Post by [AOD] »

Oh like you aren't. Pssh~

@~[AOD]
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Re: Head Researcher [AOD] and his faithful assistant raocow

Post by Yonowaaru »

Holy crap this is awesome~!
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Re: Head Researcher [AOD] and his faithful assistant raocow

Post by cheez8 »

The "BUCKET OF HAM" thing just cracked me up. Keep up the good work!
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I don't really get it but okay
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Re: Head Researcher [AOD] and his faithful assistant raocow

Post by Aposke »

Thanks to everyone leaving comments, especially to AOD and raocow!
It's great to know that the people I write about are reading this themselves.

Anyways, here is Chapter 6:

Chapter 6
How strange...

The whole ride with raocow's ca- I mean, the Raomobile, has been pretty silent...
Although raocow is easily the chattiest person I've ever met, always talking during the recording and even distracting me with his non-sequitour humor sometimes, he's very taciturn while he's driving.
Maybe he just needs alot of concentration for that, or he can't see too well in the dark.
Not like there was anything to be aware of here, this road seems like it's leading right into the woods...

"It's worth the long drive, trust me, AOD."
I damn hope it is, I'm really getting into a bad mood right now...
And my tiredness is not helping... *Yawn*
raocow, can't we just turn back and...-


"The next street left, and we're there."
Gazing out into the starry night sky, the night doesn't seem all that dark and unfriendly anymore...
My vision is a little blurry still, but I can feel that we're moving slower now...
The longer I watch the blurried stars slowly returning to their small dot form, the brighter the light around me seems to get...

Hey, I think the car has stopped...
"AOD? Whaha, you really fell asleep?"
"W.... What'd you expect, Rao? It's... We've worked the whole day, how late is it anyways?"
"Quarter to three AM."
"We... Have driven around for..." Oh jesus, that's why I hate waking up...
So we started at about one o'clock AM, which means that-

"Yes, we've been driving for two and a half hours!"
He says that like he's proud of it.
"Now let me show you the best thing there is around here!"
"Ack fine, at least I managed to catch some sleep on the way..."
But it's not like that would make anything better...
"Come on, AOD, or do I have to open the door for you?"
Ah, what? He's outside already...
Okay, time to wake up for real now.
There, I CAN open the damn door on my own.
And getting out wasn't a problem for me either!
Now-

"May I introduce to you..."
We've...
"The wonderful..."
Come...
"The outstanding..."
All the way here...
"The one and only..."
For a god damn ordinary-
"CAT PLANET!"

It took raocow another 15 minutes to convince me to follow him into this ordinary looking pub.
I gave in when he mentioned that there was no way I'd even be at home before the next work shift without him driving me back or giving me the keys, at least.
Yes, we've actually driven for two and a half hours, to a place far, far away from Quebec.
When I entered the pub, I thought things couldn't get much worse anyways, so I casually followed raocow to the appearently empty bar.
There were many chairs and tables scattered around the place, most were broken and had a thick layer of dust on them.
Everything seemed so empty, there wasn't even a bartender.
Spiderwebs were hanging from some of the walls and somewhere, in another room, I heard water dripping from a sink.
Just as I wanted to ask raocow why the hell this pub was so deserted, he went up straight to the counter and started talking.

"Hey there Cat Planet Cat!"
He waited a while, and after an imaginative reply, he answered:
"Oh really now? Well, I've got my friend AOD with me, he wants to meet all of you!"
What happened then, was too mindblowing to describe.

"Now isn't that just a piece of chilly pie?"
"..."
"AOD? You're still here?"
"..."
"I... I should have prepared you for this, right?"
"..."
"Um... Well..."
"..."
"How about I get you a drink? Just take a seat somewhere, and-"
"CATS."
"Yes, umm.... These are cats."
"SO MANY CATS."
"Well, you know, they live here, it's kind of like a home for them, and sometimes, you know, usually around, oh, I'd say, eleven... eleven thirty AM, I... I go all like "Hmm, looks like I have to go look after those guys again...".
And then, I drive all the way over to here and-"
"T... These are your cats?"
"Nononono, they're independent cats."
"Independent cats... Sure..."
What had just been an empty, deserted ex-pub has just turned into a mega-high party palace for cats.
Round, squishy, fluffy white-haired cats.
With big fluffy cat ears.
What.
[AOD]
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Re: Head Researcher [AOD] and his faithful assistant raocow

Post by [AOD] »

Well this just took a turn for the :shock: :?: :?: :o

!#~[AOD]
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Re: Head Researcher [AOD] and his faithful assistant raocow

Post by raocow »

One day I'll master time travel so I can kill myself before I do the cat planet video, time paradox be damned.
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Re: Head Researcher [AOD] and his faithful assistant raocow

Post by Xalnop »

What if an evil tyrannical dictator saw those cat planet vids... and they made him smile... and that's the only reason he decided to not launch 1,000 nukes and end the world that day? Huh!? What then!

Seriously, you need to stop regretting making the cat planet vids because they are awesome, and that's all they ever were, and will be.
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