raocow's talkhaus

You won't have a headache the night between the 17th and 18th of January 2016. You will on all other nights.

I wish all people currently in North Korea died.

It turns out, North Korea is a hydra and now there's twice as many people there.

Neat.


I wish I had a strawberry cupcake right about now.

Granted. If you eat it, everyone you love will die.

I wish technology would never ever fuck up.

Granted. It now screws up. Terminology is a jerk, ain't it?

I wish for a talkhaus account.

Granted. He ragequits every level.

I wish raocow had more subscribers.

Granted. DarkSydePhil, Dakari King Mykan, The Irate Gamer, and, worst of all, HamsterZerg subscribe to his channel.

I wish more people would listen to modern scientific understanding of life, the universe, and everything.

Granted but they can't understand it.

I wish my cat wasn't imprinted on me

granted; your cat doesn't care about you at all anymore

I wish people would admire my art all the time

Granted. Obviously, society breaks down as no one does anything else anymore, but then, you probably expected that to happen.

Well, some proactive people also kidnap you so that you can be forced to produce more art as the world burns.


I wish I could change what food tastes like to whatever I want it to taste like.

Granted. Unfortunately, this messes with the chemical make-up of all food and the food will always feel ice-cold, look slightly grey shifted and have the consistency of yoghurt with sort of a hard shell outside... Gah, that's unpleasant to imagine!

I really wish that I could have a hug~!

granted:


i wish that submarines were the primary mode of transport

Granted. Earth floods completely and all ships sink, but right now, until they run out of supplies, the only means of transport being used are submarines, and thus primary. There isn't anyone else left alive to use anything else.

I wish you well.

You wish I well what?

I wish you you would be more specific.

Granted. A person by the name of "you you" can only describe things in incredibly specific terms.

I wish Hitler died again.

granted. a perfectly innocent person who just happens to be called 'hitler' dies right before delivering a speech that would instantaneously create world peace.

i wish for dai gyakuten saiban in english.

Granted, but it's the worst translation ever.

I wish my teddy bear had his bow again

Granted: you wake up the next morning to a teddy bear drawing its bow as it prepares to sever your spine with one well placed shot.

I wish my tongue was a foot long

Granted. Your whole body grows accordingly.

I wish smiling clouds were real.

granted. they're always smiling. just staring and smiling. always.


i wish to swish a fish on a dish.

Granted: (6) The thread becomes so big that it uses up all of the talkhaus' bandwidth and causes the second talkhaustrophe.

I wish I could stop procrastinating

You become capable of stopping yourself from procrastinating, but there isn't anything for you to do anyway.

I wish you could walk.

Granted. However, we have no way of going through it. It seems to be blocked on the other side.

I wish for a method to unblock the portal.

Granted. However, it needs a full team of shiny Godzilla.

I wish I had a shiny MarineAngemon.

Granded, they glow in the dark and are not accepted to any Pokémon tournaments.

I wish I could type faster.