Corrupt A Wish Game

[Sorel]

Granted, they knock at your door until it bursts. THEN they burst in and throw a C4 at you.

I wish that I would be a bit more attractive.

[Lunikyuu]

Granted, you are more attractive to everything. This includes, bugs, mosquitos, magnets, carnivorous animals, etc.

I wish I had an undo button for real life

[Dizzybelle]

Granted, but it undos everything. From now until the beginning of time. You will reset the universe.

I wish Ni No Kuni would get ported to the Vita

[GlitchedGhost]

Granted, but it's done so poorly it looks like a bad PS1 game and it constantly glitches/crashes.

I wish for one fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish.

[Razzling]

Granted, but the fish have legs and they use them to purposely hide in places that make your house smell as bad as possible

I wish I could obtain self-propelled flight

[GlitchedGhost]

Granted, but it's only achievable through farting excessively.

I wish my bird would SHUT HIS STUPID FACE

[Whimsical Calamari]

Granted, but now his other stupid orifice won't shut and there's poop everywhere

I wish I had the ability to determine what a person thinks of me if I so choose.

[Rixithechao]

Granted, but everyone else knows about the ability so you mostly get paranoid and self-conscious stuff like "oh jeez he's thinking about me right now isn't he" and "dude stop reading my mind that's a breach of my privacy DO YOU HAVE A WARRANT FOR THAT I DIDN'T THINK SO" and "OH **** I LEFT THE OVEN ON also hi there"

I wish certain important items didn't despawn in a certain game when you absentmindedly forget to pick them back up and leave the room now I have to go all the way back to the elderwood and chop that dang tree down again grumble grumble grumble

[dr_vblschrf]

Granted, but now they spawn all over the place, so much that the game crashes.

I wish I had a new job.

[McKnackus]

Welcome to McDonalds!

I wish all these horses would find a new home. They keep pooping in my cereal boxes.

[Mikkofier]

Granted. They move next door, you can smell the poo from their yard and they throw wild horse parties, too, the bastards!

I wish the energy from pointless internet drama could be directed towards making a better world.

[McKnackus]

Granted, but all the drama comes from you uncontrollably fighting with everyone you know on the internet.

I wish I had 2 haypennies.

[HamsterZerg]

Granted, but since nobody knows what the heck a "haypenny" is, you're stuck with a couple of moldy pizza slices.

I wish for this wish to be corrupted.

[Rixithechao]

I wish for a wish that hasn't been wished yet.

[Willhart]

That wish has not yet been wished on this thread, so it grants itself. Since the wish was corrupted, it also explodes and corrupts every other post you have made so far.

I wish that the awesome games done quick lasted longer.

[Lunikyuu]

Granted, but it's renamed to awesome games done really really slowly and each game takes years to complete

I wish I had money to donate to people

[Neo7]

Granted but the money is cursed and the more you donate, the greater the chance of the person crashing and burning.

I wish I hat a jetpack to go to and from work.

[TheVulpineHero1]

Granted. Congratulations! You hat a jetpack. As in, your hat has become a jetpack, complete with downwards-facing thrusters that will be sure to keep your face, neck and skull very, very warm indeed.

I wish I had my voice back.

[Rixithechao]

Granted, but then you realize you could've wished for someone else's voice instead.

I wish for no weather-related delays with my ride back to school tomorrow.

[Dizzybelle]

granted, but the ride is now eternal
and uphill

i wish that air was 100% chlorine gas and water was liquid mercury

[Snakebite969]

Granted, the air is now 100% chlorine and the water 100% mercury.

Since the melting point of mercury is less than that of water, the polar ice caps melt, resulting in worldwide mercury floods.


I wish for another wish.

[Gardenolva]

Granted, but it expired along the way.

I wish for a TM (Tech Machine)

[GlitchedGhost]

Granted, but the move on it is Splash.

I wish that life would stop fucking me over.

[HamsterZerg]

Granted, but now it's hitting you in the head with an Unusual Frying Pan.

I wish I had an easier time remembering things.

[Snakebite969]

Granted, your entire brain is now working solely on remembering things.
Consequently your heart stops.

I wish I was in a place where the temperature is roughly 5°C