The (Talkhaus) Price is Right Mini Ep. 1 - Ding Ding Ding

[YelseyKing]

*pan over of the set, which is decorated in reds, yellows, oranges, and browns of various hues, and looks right out of the 70s, as the old Price is Right intro theme plays*

Meya: A fortune in fabulous prizes may go to one of these people today, if they know when the price is right!

Telamon, come on down!

Maiku Wotaharu, come on down!

jayScribble, come on down!

And En Gardevoir, come on down!

Meya: You are the first four contestants on

*The Price is Right theme starts playing*

Meya: ...Mini Edition! And now here's our host, YelseyKing!

*YK emerges from behind the big doors*

Yes, yes, welcome everybody! We're playing half a normal episode, celebrating those wacky, wild half-hour episodes of the early 70s. It's not too much different, though. We have a different announcer, but all the rest of the rules are the same, so let's get right to it. What's our first item up for bids, Meya?

Meya: It's a set of designer wallets!

*models bring out a podium with four expensive-looking wallets on it*

Meya: From Extravagant Living, these four lovely designer wallets for him or her are made of fine leather, with 12-carat gold trim!

Yowza. Same rules as always. We bid in US dollars, and the one who comes the closest to the actual retail price without going over wins the wallets, and gets to come up and play a pricing game for a chance at more and better prizes. Telamon bids first, followed by Maiku Wotaharu, jayScribble, and finally En Gardevoir. Happy bidding!

[Telamon]

$425

[Maiku Wotaharu]

$350

[Dizzybelle]

[jayScribble]

$300.

Internet was down for nearly a day for me.

[Gardenolva]

444

[YelseyKing]

And the actual retail price of those wallets is... $700!

*old timey "Come on Down" music plays*

En Gardevoir, come on up here! Now, you may just have a good use for those wallets, because, well... Meya?

Meya: You've got a chance to win up to...

*dramatic music stinger*

Yes indeed!

It's the Grand Game! Complete with a new design that looks more like the real thing! Heck yeah!

Now, we've seen this game before, as will be the trend with these mini-episodes, and the rules are the same as they were before. You gotta *earn* your way up to $10,000. For now, you get $1. Fix it, plz.

Right. Now, we'll add a zero on to the end of that if you pick out the grocery products below that are below a certain price. What *is* that price, actually?

$9.00. Fair enough. Gotta avoid the really expensive ones. For each one you pick that's below $9.00, as I said, we'll tack on a 0 at the end. So, one right guess gets you $10. Two gets you $100. And if you can get all four that are below $9.00, that's the whole pile of cash there. Now, Meya, tell us about those products.

Meya: All right, YK. First, we have a 12oz bottle of Cats! Up brand Ketchup. Made with tomatoes, not with cats, that's the Cats! Up guarantee.

Meya: Second, Gilgamesh's Own Spiraled Ham. Because what better way to sell a Large Ham than by using the image of another Large Ham?

Meya: Elbillug Bottled Water. Straight from the tap, you'd have to be pretty "Elbillug" to believe it's any better!

Meya: Oil your machines with Cat Planet Machine Oil, made in a Factory! Factory!! Factory!!! Factory!!!! Factory!!!!! on, where else, Cat Planet!

Meya: Next, Everything! Brand Bleach. So called because it gets *everything* off your clothes. Food stains, grass stains, oil stains, even color! Everything!

Meya: And finally, a 24 pack of Huggbees Disposable Diapers. Super absorbent, they're almost sure to catch any blue fluid your baby happens to leak.

All right then. Now, which of those products do you believe is under $9.00?

[Gardenolva]

Water is natural, not expensive...

So, gonna go with that BOTTLED WATER.

[Dizzybelle]

[YelseyKing]

$1.69. A *very* safe pick. You're up to $10 now, so pick another!

[Gardenolva]

That KETCHUP please.

[YelseyKing]

The ketchup is $2.39, another safe pick, and you're up to $100. What else there is below $9.00?

[Gardenolva]

OIL

[YelseyKing]

Oh no...

*losing horns*

$15.99. The price of a regular cat planet. Well, that's that. You did win $100, though, so that's pretty great, I guess?

But let's just check. What else *is* under $9.00?

The ham and the bleach. Delicious.

Well, we'll be back after these messages.

[YelseyKing]

Well that was a bit of a downer. Who else you got for us, Meya?

Meya: We got a pholtos! Again! Come on down, you're the next contestant on the Talkhaus Price is Right!

*old-timey Come on Down music plays*

Now what's our next item up for bids?

Meya: It's a fun collection of stuffed animals!

*models bring out a podium covered with stuffed animals of all shapes and sizes*

Meya: From the Plushie Collective, an assortment of over a hundred handcrafted stuffed cats, dogs, birds, pigs, foxes, and more! Fun for toy collectors or just that imaginative child in your life!

Bidding begins with pholtos, rolls over to Telamon, goes on to Maiku, then finally jayScribble.

Also, thanks to all who are voting Talkhaus TPiR for best forum game. I try.

[pholtos]

I bet :3.

What? That doesn't work? Uhh...

333.

:3

[Dizzybelle]

[Telamon]

275.

Sorry, can't make that into a face.

[Maiku Wotaharu]

$400

[jayScribble]

$500

[YelseyKing]

Is... is that a plush pholtos up there? o.o

Actual retail price of those stuffed animals is... $525!

jayScribble is the winner! Come on back up here!

You had it rough last time, as I recall, but you're back to try it again, and I hope you have better luck, because we have a nice prize waiting!

*doors open, revealing a desk, chair, and computer*

Meya: How about a new computer, complete with desk and chair? First, we have a Pewlett-Hackard PC that comes with 8 gigs of RAM, a 3 TB hard drive, and a high-end graphics card. Printer included! Second, from Furniture Makers Inc, a lovely sturdy oak desk with three drawers and a fold out panel for storing a keyboard. Finally, a comfy black leather swivel desk chair, also from Furniture Makers Inc. It's a programmer's dream setup, and a terrific prize package worth $7,255!

Secret X! It's Tic-Tac-Toe for the new generation! Or something, I mean this game was created back in 1977, so. Yeah. But it's pretty simple. The titular "Secret X" is somewhere behind those three panels emblazoned with question marks. All you have to do is make three in a row using the Secret X, and you win that prize package. How do you get your X's? Well, you can win two by correctly pricing small prizes, but because I'm generous (and because it's how the game is played), I'm also going to give you one for free:

For now, just tell me which square you want that X on. We'll get to the small prizes afterwards.

Oh. And no cheating by placing all your X's on one side of the board. You *need* to use the Secret X to win. Them's the rules.

Sorry for the rather sporadic updates lately. Christmas rush, hooray.

[jayScribble]

Top right.

[YelseyKing]

That looks about right. Now for those other X's...

...we've got a couple prizes here... Meya, tell us about them, won't you?

Meya: Be delighted to. First, we have a microwave from Cook Masters. Capable of being programmed with numerous different settings, from simple reheating to straight up cooking.

Meya: And second, a heavy-duty shovel from Diggem. A rust-proof head and a waterproof handle keep this handy tool usable in any weather. You could use it to bounce on enemies' heads, but we wouldn't recommend it.

For now, let's start with the Microwave. To win an X, tell me... is it $80 or $110? If you're correct, you win an X. It's just that simple!

[jayScribble]

$80.

[YelseyKing]

All right. Let's see...

*buzzer*

Nope. $110. Well, no Microwave, no X, but you still have one more chance... and you'd better get this one right, or we don't have much of a game left.

What's the price of that shovel, $25 or $50?