Describe a video game poorly

[Wolfolotl]

all the fun of a B-movie horror, except no one ever knows how to play the damn game correctly

alternatively: Who The Fuck Both Names Their Child Jorg And Lets Him Grow Up To Be A Reporter

[Mikkofier]

Dress up as animals and kill people horribly, it's all pointless and then the Soviets kill everyone

[Snakebite969]

Huh?

Guess it was nothing.

[raekuul]

Break the curse, find the princess.

Eversion, though there are probably others that fit under this

[metasomnia?]

Fly to the right while blowing up enemies and avoiding walls

basically every sidescrolling shooter ever

[Sorel]

you pick one of a hundred mercenaries, kill people, get gold, and destroy architecture for no apparent reason.

[tangy]

READY

TO DIE

[No Lynch]

Jump! Jump!
Slide! Slide!

[Snakebite969]

Spin your way through a bunch of portals, defeating weird bosses and ultimately intruding on a fight between 2 sentient masks in order to fight a scientist

crash bandicoot 3 warped

[HamsterZerg]

You can raise a therapod into a cyborg centaur, a giant bird, a flame golem, and a bigger version of itself, among other things. Oh, and you have to convince a bunch of monsters to come to a city.

[Willhart]

You are in a mall. You have a time limit for some reason. You run around with your shopping cart and race with other people to see who can find everything on their shopping list first.

[alleightbits]

Internet Troll Simulator.

[KinuNishimura]

A man makes several attempts to rekindle his relationship with his nephew.

[Dizzybelle]

get the shit kicked out of you by an Indian pacifist

[Bedlam]

Lead an army of sentient eyeballs to glory against a race of sentient eyeballs with pinkeye by playing the bongos.

[raekuul]

Crash land on an alien planet, recover your ship parts from the aliens, uncover a plot to destroy the universe.

[metasomnia?]

You try to earn the affection of your senpai, and when you fail you can murder everybody and start over

[alleightbits]

Sidescrolling shooter of memetic proportions.

[tangy]

Ten little Kirbys on a quest to become one A Kirby game where you can't copy or eat anything.

[blue_kirby]

A candy game that makes you lose your sanity. Oh and you have to wait if you keep losing.

[alleightbits]

Ten little Kirbys on a quest to become one A Kirby game where you can't copy or eat anything.

Doesn't that describe four or five of the games?

[raekuul]

You could eat in the original, which was one of the few you couldn't copy in. Pinball Land, Star Stacker, Block Ball, Canvas/Rainbow Curse, Mass Attack and Epic Yarn are the ones that fit the officially given description.

Your half-brother is trying to kill you because he wants daddy's inheritance.

[KinuNishimura]

Two estranged sisters rekindle their relationship by trying to date the exact same guy.

[blue_kirby]

The game that when I play, I get lost in a phase, but then I realize I'm stuck in a someone's maze.

[HamsterZerg]

Crash land on an alien planet, recover your ship parts from the aliens, uncover a plot to destroy the universe.

Pikmin...?

A Ghostbusters game where the Proton Pack is actually a flashlight.