The Official Talkhaus Roleplay Game

[Sorel]

It's the can-monster, a. k. a. Cántin, the tin can. It's an adorable little fella, and raocows roommate.

[Mikkofier]

"Let's go bomb the Russians!", the tin can says. Poor guy, raocow says to the voices inside his head, sometimes I feel bad about not telling (him? her? it? what do you call a tin can, anyway?) about the cold war ending.

[Sorel]

It's Václav, another one of his imaginary friends. This guy's the definition of stoic.

[Mikkofier]

Seeing Vaclav had momentarily distracted raocow from the fact that Boon's very presence meant that he had gotten up on the wrong foot again. This, of course, always led to slipping sideways into a parallel universe. I should probably stop doing that, he thought to himself.

[Sorel]

And then he ate a sandvich with ham and cheese, so he can go back to his world. But just as he wanted to eat the last bit of it, Václav shot the last piece of raocow's Sandvich with a pistol!

[Dizzybelle]

Sensing the peril of it's children, the loaf of bread from which the sandwich came lept into action, donning a red bandana and bandolier, it opened fire through the house. Machine fire obliterated majority of the building, leaving the walls resembling slices of swiss cheese.

...No-one was injured, since the loaf was too focused on looking badass, rather than actually aiming.

[Mikkofier]

Václav ate the bread when it ran out of bullets and disappeared like a fart in Sahara.
raocow, taken aback by this sudden development and sat in thought for a moment...

"Hey, Boon? What say you we go explore videoland or some stuff?" he finally said.
Boon nodded.

[Snakebite969]

So raocow and Boon set off on their journey to videoland, traversing places such as Switzerland, and the Sahara desert, and the ocean.
Eventually they arrived at videoland.
Which is probably somewhere near Australia.

[Sorel]

Seems like they arrived in Kongoland.

[Snakebite969]

raocow, now confused about his location, decided to check his map.
He was either in Kongoland or Videoland, but he distinctly remembered that Kongoland was in the Yuri Nation, while Videoland was in The Land of Immortal Pheasants.


But, turns out he's actually not in either of those places. raocow is lost!

[Mikkofier]

raocow decided to ask directions from a passing burning peasant.
"This is Peasantry, my lord!" came the answer.

[Sorel]

Then the burning peasant died. raocow and boon dug a grave and prayed.

[Snakebite969]

raocow proceeded to look at his map again. Turns out that Peasantry was not on the map. Which was strange, because it was definitely on there before. Neither was Videoland or Kongoland, for some reason.
Looking around, he discovered that Boon had fainted.

It was then that raocow looked up at the sky. It was night time.


The moon was red.

[Sorel]

raocow turned around, and what he saw was horrifying.

A big, glaring eye.

[Snakebite969]

The big eye was actually planted within a hole in somebody's stomach. Tendrils of pure evil were wrapped around this man, who appeared to be holding some sort of UNO card.

[Mikkofier]

raocow knew from experience that the man was clearly suffering from external tummyache and knew exactly what was to be done...

Throw milk at it!

But where's raocow supposed to find milk at a time and place as this?

[HamsterZerg]

Suddenly, it started raining milk. But trouble was always present, as raocow knew all too well, and sure enough, Lucemon ran in, wielding a Valve Rocket Launcher.

[Snakebite969]

Unfortunately, the act of summoning Lucemon caused raocow to accidentally solve the severely magical trigonometric equation: sinθ=½.

Indeed, the number 30 caused a severe explosion in a nearby house, as expected of the sine rule.
"Just think of the damage that could have occurred if that had been a cosine rule" raocow thought to himself

[Grounder]

From a safe distance, Pily watched.

It felt like she was the only sane one sometimes. Of course, dealing with her family (sans Demo and Iris) on a daily basis certainly didn't exactly encourage faith in her. The only one she really got along with was Uncle Denmark, and her fear of water made even that relationship strained at times.

[HamsterZerg]

When Pily turned to go back home, she saw Heavy Weapons Guy and Zee Tee fighting against Guilmon and Zeratul.

However, before either side could win, Lucemon fired rapid-fire rockets from his Valve Rocket Launcher, blowing them all up.

And then suddenly Vegeta.