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Talkhausmon: A Dating RPG Contest Thing

...or in other words: post-whoring
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Septentrion Pleiades
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Talkhausmon: A Dating RPG Contest Thing

Postby Septentrion Pleiades » 5 years ago

The year is 2022. The post count is 1999 due to forum games not counting
The mythical land of Canada
[/size]
Horikawa looked out the window and pondered her next move. Everything has went as planned but there must have been something she overlooked. Eleven years ago, she hacked into raocow's computer and that lead eventually lead to her current occupation as head of Raocorp and covert ruler of Canada. The real raocow was useful for entrepreneurial endeavors but the robotic doppelganger of him was even more invaluable.

Her office was thirty-two stories up from the ground and provided a great view of the Canadian landscape, however, her thought turn to her love dungeon on the thirty-fourth floor where the real raocow was kept. She briefly considered having children, but it was sort of an amoral act that she would never carry through. You see, Horikawa was a carrier of a horrible disease: male baldness. Although the chances of a child affected with this illness was only 25%, the slightest chance of a child being brought into this world with such a horrible blight made such a act unthinkable.

Of course, she could use technology to make sure she had a girl but, unfortunately, a child would have a 25% chance of diabetes with raocow. raocow was not the only man in her love dungeon of course, but many of them also had some other genetic variable that didn't match up well. She looked up her other dungeon captives in her genetic database: Alex, Argumentable, and ano0maly all had something; Rena was a girl; SNN, Septentrion....

Why did she looked up Septentrion's genetic profile? She would want the father of the child available at all times, and thus a prisoner of her dungeon of unspeakable acts. Septentrion should be the last person she should look up. Her habit of searching through alliterations was quite inconvenient.

How did doubting her plan lead to this line of reasoning. Was this what she missed?

No...

She was their that day... when he died.

Tomorrow was an important day for that she had to prepare for so she stopped this line of foolish thinking. She got back to work analyzing Raocorp's new line: Talkhausmon. This was her path to taking over the world. Nintendo and Team Shanghai Alice were releasing their products, Moemon and Touhoumon respectively, so she had to make sure her product was perfect. It would only be a matter of time when the world is hers.

This is going to be an interactive choose your own adventure thing. Please make profiles for the main character. The main character will be getting a Talkhausmon starter.
Last edited by Septentrion Pleiades on 26 Dec 2014, 20:47, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Talkhausmon: A Dating RPG Contest Thing

Postby Lunikyuu » 5 years ago

So are we all making characters and then voting on which profile will be the main one or are we all going to have our own main character and each have individual roles in the story?

Might attempt something after I have some sleep.
super big thanks to bkamakaze for the avatar!
and this site for the other one!

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Re: Talkhausmon: A Dating RPG Contest Thing

Postby Sorel » 5 years ago

So, basically, we can create a profile for the main character here? And the best one will be the main character's profile?
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Re: Talkhausmon: A Dating RPG Contest Thing

Postby Ivy » 5 years ago

What the hell did I just read?
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Re: Talkhausmon: A Dating RPG Contest Thing

Postby Clamestarebla » 5 years ago

Cool ,we got to read Septentrion's Creepy Love Story Contest entry.
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Re: Talkhausmon: A Dating RPG Contest Thing

Postby Lunikyuu » 5 years ago

I still don't completely understand what's going on, but I will plunge headfirst into it anyway!

Name: Lunos (closest thing I have to a go-to male name)

Age: 4812 (because why not?)

Height: 1.75m (this is essential to his character and cannot be changed, don't ask why)

Weight: 60kg

Backstory: He was once a shiny Espeon turned human after a freak accident resulting from a lightning strike from the moon. He became a heroic samurai warrior fighting for peace and justice who managed to save all of Hokkaido from the spanish inquisition, until the evil demon lord Fa Kyu decided to send him through time into present day Canada and erase all traces of him and the battle from existance.

Appearance: Has shoulder length green hair, green eyes, and green Espeon ears, wears glasses to contain his immense psychic powers, or at least that's what he tells people.

Personality: Noble, Kind, and Brave. Very energetic. Quirky due to not completely understanding the ways of humans. Often distracted by shiny objects. Likes melons.

Any questions or concerns can be answered by "because why not?" or "because I'm a strange person".

I put several semi-hard thought minutes into this, so it better win.
super big thanks to bkamakaze for the avatar!
and this site for the other one!

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Re: Talkhausmon: A Dating RPG Contest Thing

Postby Snakebite969 » 5 years ago

Name : Simon
Age: 17
Height: 1.3m (he's pretty small, which is pretty important)
Weight: Impossible to determine, as explained in the backstory section, but estimated at about 70kg
Back story: Simon was a normal guy, in a normal town, in a normal world. He was content with his life.
Then he met a man on a train. This man decided to speak to him. On a train.
Simon was so traumatised by this experience that he never went on a train again, in fear of this man talking to him. He asked a witch for assistance with his phobia, and ended up cursed so that any weight measuring device within a 5m radius explodes.
Naturally, this had a disastrous effect on Simons life.
He vowed to find this witch, and murder her with her own weighing scales.
Appearance: Brown hair, slight spiking. Purple eyes. Enjoys wearing sunglasses.
Personality: Shy, introverted, emotionally unstable. Loves starfish. Fear of trains.
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Re: Talkhausmon: A Dating RPG Contest Thing

Postby KobaBeach » 5 years ago

Ivy wrote:What the hell did I just read?
Clemasterable wrote:Septentrion's Creepy Love Story Contest entry
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Re: Talkhausmon: A Dating RPG Contest Thing

Postby Septentrion Pleiades » 5 years ago

I couldn't decide which OC to use so I'm not going to use any of them. This will be in Second Person because that the most unappreciated perspective. Now, it's time for your tri-yearly update.

The Most Awesone Land of The United States of America
[/size]

You woke up this morning, on your 16th birthday, which also happens by coincidence to be the day you get your first Talkhausmon. You eat the corn and the cocopuffs and rush to Professor Kil's place.

When you to Professor Kil place you see Clamestarebla and that jerk Darkychao.

"Now that we all are here, it's time for your introduction to the world of Talkhausmon," Professor Kil said.

"Is that really necessary. It's still Earth," Darkychao said.

"Hello! Welcome to the world of Talkhausmon! My name is Kil. People call me Talkhaus Professor. This world is inhabited by creatures that we call Talkhaus. There are also Moemon and Touhoumon but they are inferior to Talkhausmon.

"People and Talkhausmon live together by supporting each other. Some people used them as battle slaves and others use them for erotic fanfiction. But we don't know everything about Talkhausmon yet. There are still many mysteries to solve. That's why I study Talkhausmon every day."

"Can we pick yet?" You said.

"Of course."

"I choose Kobabeach," you said.

"And I choose Bwarch," Darkychao said, being the asshole jerk.

"You asshole," you said.

"It's not like there's a type advantage," Darkychao said smugly.

"You're going to battle me now, aren't you?" you said.

"If that's what you want," he said ironically.

"Fine, go Kobabeach!" you yell!. Kobabeach appeared from his pokeball. He was a lot smaller and less lion-like than you expected.

"I thought you were going to be a fearsome lion thing," you complained.

"I'm just a Chibibeach," he said.

"Go Bwarch," said Darkychao in a completely inconsiderate way.

"Use Leer Chibibeach!" you said.

"Bwarch, use Righteous-Indignation!" Darkychao said like an ignoramus.

"Righteous-Indignation at this level?" you said, "Oh no!"

To be continued...
Last edited by Septentrion Pleiades on 26 Dec 2014, 20:50, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Talkhausmon: A Dating RPG Contest Thing

Postby Clamestarebla » 5 years ago

inb4 miss
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Re: Talkhausmon: A Dating RPG Contest Thing

Postby Bryux » 5 years ago

Which types are Kobabeach and Bwarch tho?
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woawoawoah someone spoilered the obligatory signaturtle
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I settled with good old Kaguya

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Re: Talkhausmon: A Dating RPG Contest Thing

Postby Snakebite969 » 5 years ago

Bryux wrote:Which types are Kobabeach and Bwarch tho?
Kobabeach would be innocently-happy type, while Bwarch would be evil-grin type.
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Re: Talkhausmon: A Dating RPG Contest Thing

Postby Septentrion Pleiades » 5 years ago

Chibibeach get hit by Righteous-Indignation.

"What, it only did 4 damage? I thought it was a more powerful attack" you said.

Bwarch's special attack fell


"While Righteous-Indignation is a powerful move, it is a special attack. Bwarch's lack of special attack make's the move largely ineffective," Clamestarebla said.

"Okay, I understand now," you said, "use Tackle Chibibeach!"

Chibibeach used Tackle

Bwarch used Righteous-Indignation

Bwarch's special attack fell


"Use tackle again," you said.

Chibibeach used Tackle

Bwarch used Righteous-Indignation

Bwarch's special attack fell


"One more tackle," you said.

Chibibeach used Tackle

Bwarch used Righteous-Indignation

Bwarch's special attack fell


"Damn, he had one more hitpoint. Use tackle again, Chibibeach!"

Chibibeach used Tackle

Critical hit!

Bwarch fainted


"I guess you win. I didn't stand a chance," Darkychao said showing poor sportmanship.

"That was an exciting battle," Professor Kil said, "It feel my heart with joy whenever I see the RPG style battles passed off as storytelling."

"So what now?" you asked.

"You can always take the league challenge and collect badges from gym leaders. I'm sure those guys at Talkhaus have a fun story planned along the way," Professor Kil said.

"Personally, I plan saving my homeland of Canada," Clamestarebla siad.

"Canada?" you said, "Never heard of it."

Professor Kil laughed. "The fairy tale land of snow and decent healthcare? I suppose you're planning a vacation in Narnia as well," he said.

"Canada is as real as me," Clamestarebla said, "One day, I will travel north and prove its existence once and for all."

"Well, you can do that," you said, "I plan on playing this through it's story."

What amazing adventures does our protagonist have in the future? Find out next time on Talkhausmon: A Dating RPG Contest Thing
Last edited by Septentrion Pleiades on 26 Dec 2014, 20:52, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Talkhausmon: A Dating RPG Contest Thing

Postby Clamestarebla » 5 years ago

Oh man gotta go save Canada. Turns out I'm actually the Champion of Canada, it's kinda like being the Champion on Sinnoh, but way less cool since I'm not Cynthia.
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Re: Talkhausmon: A Dating RPG Contest Thing

Postby InsaneIntentions1 » 5 years ago

Okay then
That crazy voice dude
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Re: Talkhausmon: A Dating RPG Contest Thing

Postby Sturg » 5 years ago

me
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Re: Talkhausmon: A Dating RPG Contest Thing

Postby O'Largill » 5 years ago

dingle ur pokes quick while the professor isnt watching
thats how we do things on this forum, damnit
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Re: Talkhausmon: A Dating RPG Contest Thing

Postby KobaBeach » 5 years ago

O'Largill wrote:dingle ur pokes quick while the professor isnt watching
thats how we do things on this forum, damnit
>implying i won't be the one dingling the mc
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Re: Talkhausmon: A Dating RPG Contest Thing

Postby Septentrion Pleiades » 5 years ago

Time has gone by pretty fast and you can't believe that you are already fighting for your eighth and final gym badge.

"Alice, use Mirror-Move!" said Pholtos the gym leader said. He was on his final talkhausmon and you were down to two.

Alice used surf and hit your Ningamer with the attack he just used. Alice's speed seemed to be increasing as the battle went on.

"How is your Alice getting so fast?" you asked.

"It's Alice's dream world ability," Pholtos said.

You consider Ningamer's attacks: Cut, Surf, Rock Smash, and Flash.

"Use rock smash," you said.

Rock Smash did only a little damage and it didn't lower Alice's defense. You weren't 100% sure Rock Smash even did that. Alice's speed went up. Alice knock Ningamer out with a boot to the head.

"You shouldn't have bought time with your HM slave. Now Alice's speed is super high due to her Red Queen ability."

You send Beastlybeach, your very first Talkhausmon.

"Alice use Ice Beam!"

Beastlybeach get hit and took a lot of damage.

"Beastlybeach, use Gyro-Ball," you said.

"F

****

," said Pholtos as Alice lost all he health.

You watch in intense anticipation as the blue line moved up the bar. It's about to reach and... BeastlyBeach grew to level 49!

"We win!" you yelled happy, "give me a bara hug, Beastlybeach!"

"But you deleted Bara Hug when you taught me Gyro-Ball," Beastlybeach said sad.

"Oh, forgot about that, but you can still do hugs, right?" you ask inquisitive.

"No, but I can learn again if we visit that creepy old man. Also, talkhausmon can learn more than 4 moves so I don't know why you keep erasing them."
Sudden Transition Because Fanfiction
You go outside and it is a beautiful day in America. new flowers of all colors were blooming and there were few clouds that appeared in the sky. The bald eagles were flying over proudly as song birds sung below and the Sun was shining onto the sparkly water as reflective waves glisten majestically on the port side of the aircraft carriers' port side hull.

Then Clamestlebla appeared.

"Clameststlebla, have you made any progress in finding Canada?" you asked.

"No. I just keep running into more snow. Not even the slightest trace of civilization." he said,"How's your journey. Have you stopped bad guys or anything?"

"Now that you mention it, nothing really happen," you said, "I don't know what up with the.

Then Professor Kil and Professor SAJewers appeared.

"We may not have a story, but we did put a lot of effort into this game and making it an interesting experience," Professor Kil said.

"But why no story," you ask, "Someone must have came up with something."

So SAJewers said, "We'll, you'll be happy to know that we've rejected quite a very detail and complex story. It was a bit too pretension."

"Okay then, now I just go become champion or something?" you asked

"Yeap"

Meanwhile back in Canada...
"Hahahaha," Horikawa said evil, "Soon the world will be mine and then, I will be the most independent woman ever to exist."

"Indeed," said her talkhausmon Rena who she had force to listen to her monolouge, "please go on."

"When the world is mine, I say make all men have exercise until they have sixpacks or execute them if they can't reach standards in six months. Also, they will all wear glasses, except for those who have super thick glasses; they will have laser eye surgery so that their vision will be only be slightly bad. What do you think of that, minion?"

"Even though I'm a lesbian, I think that's would be a perfect and ideal world," Rena said bored.

"And then, I will make sure every woman in the world will have exactly average sized breasts!"

"What!?!" the Patchouli talkhausmon said, "But but but... can the new average be larger?"

"No, because that's objectifying!"

"But that's a form of Marxism."

Horokawa Otane was shocked. Her master plan to destroy sexism was a kind of Marxism. She can't have that. She must rethink how her new regime of world control will have a strong foundation in free market capitalism AND destroy sexism.

The talkhausmon sighed.
Last edited by Septentrion Pleiades on 26 Dec 2014, 20:54, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Talkhausmon: A Dating RPG Contest Thing

Postby KobaBeach » 5 years ago

Septentrion Pleiades wrote:

Meanwhile back in Canada...
"Hahahaha," Horikawa said evil, "Soon the world will be mine and then, I will be the most independent woman ever to exist."

"Indeed," said her talkhausmon Rena who she had force to listen to her monolouge, "please go on."

"When the world is mine, I say make all men have exercise until they have sixpacks or execute them if they can't reach standards in six months. Also, they will all wear glasses, except for those who have super thick glasses; they will have laser eye surgery so that their vision will be only be slightly bad. What do you think of that, minion?"

"Even though I'm a lesbian, I think that's would be a perfect and ideal world," Rena said bored.

"And then, I will make sure every woman in the world will have exactly average sized breasts!"

"What!?!" the Patchouli talkhausmon said, "But but but... can the new average be larger?"

"No, because that's objectifying!"

"But that's a form of Marxism."

Horokawa Otane was shocked. Her master plan to destroy sexism was a kind of Marxism. She can't have that. She must rethink how her new regime of world control will have a strong foundation in free market capitalism AND destroy sexism.

The talkhausmon sighed.
what

(i approve of bara hug though)
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Re: Talkhausmon: A Dating RPG Contest Thing

Postby Clamestarebla » 5 years ago

*plot intensifies*
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Re: Talkhausmon: A Dating RPG Contest Thing

Postby The Destroyer of Worlds » 5 years ago

Septentrion Pleiades wrote:

Meanwhile back in Canada...
"Hahahaha," Horikawa said evil, "Soon the world will be mine and then, I will be the most independent woman ever to exist."

"Indeed," said her talkhausmon Rena who she had force to listen to her monolouge, "please go on."

"When the world is mine, I say make all men have exercise until they have sixpacks or execute them if they can't reach standards in six months. Also, they will all wear glasses, except for those who have super thick glasses; they will have laser eye surgery so that their vision will be only be slightly bad. What do you think of that, minion?"

"Even though I'm a lesbian, I think that's would be a perfect and ideal world," Rena said bored.

"And then, I will make sure every woman in the world will have exactly average sized breasts!"

"What!?!" the Patchouli talkhausmon said, "But but but... can the new average be larger?"

"No, because that's objectifying!"

"But that's a form of Marxism."

Horokawa Otane was shocked. Her master plan to destroy sexism was a kind of Marxism. She can't have that. She must rethink how her new regime of world control will have a strong foundation in free market capitalism AND destroy sexism.

The talkhausmon sighed.
I was just linked directly to this post and I have no idea what's going on, but this captured me perfectly. Septentrion, you are allowed to write for me from now on.

...Also that world DOES sound pretty ideal.
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Re: Talkhausmon: A Dating RPG Contest Thing

Postby O'Largill » 5 years ago

HORIKAWA OTANE: boobs marxist

starts friday
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Re: Talkhausmon: A Dating RPG Contest Thing

Postby pholtos » 5 years ago

Oh man I'm a gym leader... saying... a blotted out word.... hmm.
It's probably "fresh" or "fries" or something.
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Re: Talkhausmon: A Dating RPG Contest Thing

Postby CornFlakes » 5 years ago

Could I be an item in the shop that gives you bad advice on how to beat the gymleader? The at the end I turn on you and become your rival!


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