raocow's talkhaus

time to sift through the sands and find us some faces



not nice, i'd bet


wait what




enjl what the shit are you on about



idiot


that cactus on the left is giving me bedroom eyes and i want nothing to do with that


waaaaaaalupuddi


rocky no dont do it

its not worth it


I WARNED Y-


w-what


i think uh
its best we forget this
for all of our sakes


iiii weeear my suuuunglasses at night~♫


seeing moles is a great way to strengthen bonds


the ol' 'Frozen Dessert' combo


paths that split?! thats impossible!!



box 'a cash out in the sands


and thats trip #1 in this corner of the desert sorted



well, i can save some money on a new staff for enjl at leas-



how
how did i manage to do this



fine, calamari and bk, you two are going on vacation


bk nearly drowned in a sink, and now calamari's concerned


do not trust this man


ROUND TWO
FIGHT


coupl'a prickly individuals


image the sound it makes when you're hit with a microphone
*BONK*


MOOOOoooOOOOoooOOOoooOOles?!


if it aint broke, dont fix it


downward dog? nah man, downward pudding



that's the ticket!


calamari's concerned about what that box is


turns out it was a gift!
segues. we got 'em


this gift stinks



okay, second attempt



:D


a brand new, fancy stick


not satisfied with a new stick, enjl craves more material wealth


but the lord of greed punishes those who reach to high

more sand, more sand


was it a ghoooooost?
a saaaaaand ghooooooost?


D:



100% in character
i forget meals all the time


see calamari knows
he knows how much of a ditz i am


flowers and butterflies, what a hell of a garden



please keep his hat
its creepier than this whole 'eating people' thing


no match for us however


SPHERICAL


intense cactus bopping action


oh geez
zephyr's face looks really odd without his head


from one reptile to another!



official snake charmer bk





the new hit sitcom starring rocky romano


a couple of heavy-duty hits later...

and zephyr flies off to become a pirate, apparently


bk is worried that rocky's hat is made of flesh and hopes he recovers soon


a priest always likes it when everyone prays


a very bk item


rocky thats not even a mic
what are you even doing


i feel bad dumping him back into this situation


out of the frying pan, into the fire


is that the only thing you say





there arent any planes here, so he has to let it all off somewhere


monsters are normally pretty happy
they dont have to wear clothes, for a start


woo free shit

another one of these? man, i wanted money :c


I SAY I SAY I SAY




its like talking to a bloody brick wall

after that detour, time to get back on the road


starting things off with a path choice
and taking the moral highroad is always the best choice


seems im not the only one on this route


knocking 'em flat is no problem at all


enjl learns how to be 'Fucking Pissed™'



wooo free money :D


getting dark? i dont think ive met that guy


did you know
that every star you look at
is naked and that makes you a pervert



bk gets very distracted by shiny things



everyone get down its got a gun!


there was a minigame here where you needed to tap the wishes you wanted three times
there was like: money, monsters, sweets and bananas
might have been more that im forgetting



"dude what the fuck"



sky money! now legal tender in non-sky locations


mkay, mornings here, and its time for scorpions


time for some Pudding Magic™




wooo free mp that i didnt really need
i just felt like using the skill






whoa what the shit

thats an instakill!
now i know why theyre called scary scorpions


time for enjl to show off a move he's had for ages

a big glowy light show aaaaaand...

fart


he immediately gave up and just beat them to death instead


god that hat really is horrifying


rocky, despite being a corpse, still manages to level up
and calamari too i guess


double the ouchies?! that sounds bad! D:




heart claws more like fart claws


jesus christ

bk it would take all day to explain to you what is wrong with this


now for this thread to go south



i am absolutely shattered



dont copy me



why are you copying me?




stone cold


snurpatrol!



man thats a pretty neat looking attack actually


double scratch, double kill






spooky scary scorpions


triple strike combo!

"cmon guuuuys, lemme joooooin :c"


for hitting 650 rescues, we get EVEN MORE SPRINKLES
we're gonna need a bigger cupcake



please... please rng gods...
let me make my mii wear something thats not a fucking dominatrix outfit



SUCCESS


something nice, cute and fluffy
much better

Some map filling, some quizzes, and maybe some pyramid!



SMELL YA LATER
TALK★HAUS SHOOTER

...we paid EXTRA for that star

sure, we've opened the way to the pyramid, but there's locations we havent been to yet!


dark lord who's known to steal faces flees to this kingdom and you expected him NOT to steal faces?


lets face it, we may never know




man, actual drive and determination for once, go us



i know they mean it in the michael jackson 'bad' sense
but i like to think its just bk remembering how terrible they all are at this


couple of scorpy fellas


calamari is a man after my own heart
and not just because of the cat outfit



he cuts his mp cost in half...

...but deals half damage as a result


we can make up for squidcat's laziness, though
nothing teamwork cant fix


a real kaleidoscope of scorpions


i dont really point out the praise bonuses, but the damage boost they give is crazy



looks like we were going through this level too fast, they had to give us a ticket


ROCKY NO

NOT AGAIN PLEASE I BEG YOU



this cactus isnt as gentle of a lover
either that or he knows we're onto him and is acting
we may never know





main goal of the relationship things is to get every pair to level six, when they learn lend a hand


bk if its another tambourine i swear to good


he made it himself! :D
it's a cow! :D


if its something else... then what is it?
what do your holy eyes see, enjl?


got a full level's worth of relationship points for that


goth priest 2017



chances are pretty bad here, but nuts to it
i want those radishes


welp, could be worse, i suppose



no level up, but rocky did fall down a well for a solid 9 hours before calamari noticed
all in all a great holiday

its time for a visit to our old friend karatekid for a quiz!


you should go to the jungle, theyve got plenty of those there



general knowledge is my favourite soldier


3 questions, 3 minutes to save the world, lets go


man thats a terrible colour palatte


ding, question one down


what DONT they keep in those things


it is the only place you can find fat in the world
any time fat is listed on a food, thats a camel
i dont make the rules


the options were 'east' and 'west' but i missed the photo :c

the answer was weast



I HAVE BESTED YOU AGAIN, PUZZLE MAN

you may remember back when we first started this region
that this area had a section that was labelled 'risky shortcut'
well, in the lost segment of footage, i did go and try to clear it
but it was considerably way to hard for me to clear


now that we're decked out, we can go back and clear it out


THIS is why i turned back
two copies of a boss from the first region


triple combo strike!
you may have scared me off once, but not this time!




oh geez
bk's sick of being a meatshield, apparently



i do enough crying in my own time, thank you sir



I SAID I DO ENOUGH CRYING THANK YOU



thats one down!


time for rocky to rock out with a skill he learned a while back


he had a ton of heart shaped balloons stuffed into his pants exclusively for this


and just like that,
bk gets a love heart glued to his face


smack a bird so hard its eyes fall off


heck yeah, these actually look tasty as heck


and what were we missing out on, all this time?

b-bread?

uh
okay
bread


back to an old familiar inn


new inns, new kitty



game just really doesnt wanna give me a alien staff, huh?



ton of exp for our soft friend, and gaining a new ability, a hp version of his other drain skill

been putting it off long enough, time to bust into this pyramid!


pretty big submap, and what looks like an entry boss


twin golem action!



two golems? two scratches


enjl goes in for a swing, but...

these golems are working in tandem!



jumping in front of an attack to protect the other!
even my units dont care that much



cant guard against multitargets, so rocky and enjl team up for a charged attack


and one more, then the two titans go down!


more yummy steak loot :3

Now that we're done cleaning up outside, we delve into this ancient tomb, hunting the last faces and the dark lord himself!



SEE YOU SPACE
COWBOY TALKHAUS

...see what i did there?

with the bouncer out of the way, let's storm this place


'great' is subjective
its more like the 'alright pyramid'


calamari's not impressed



i mean, dude could be anywhere
dunno why he keeps hanging around where people can definitely come attack him


i dunno about 'lots'
theres, what, scribe, coryman, owl and cheez? i think thats all the people in here



let's roll! :D


oh man thats a goofy lookin' mummy
i like them already


theyre so floppy and wobbly its great










they remind me a bit of oogie boogie honestly
just much goofier


makin' em brown bread



this spell costs a lot of mana



might be useful during a boss or something, but i dont really see myself using it much


i loaf a good team-up






couldnt get much boulder than pulling a random lever



im glad to see the chest with one ticket in it industry was thriving all the way back in ancient egypt


ive used an entire rainforest worth of confetti at this point


we're steadily averaging out our relationship levels



game felt sorry for me missing out on that prize so many times in a row


i cant wait for enjl to miss every attack now

oh geez tenda beat us here


calamari keeps scratching up all the furniture



careful is my middle name!


...i have recieved word from my legal team that no, careful is NOT my middle name and i must clarify that or risk another lawsuit



harumph i say! ha! rumph!



dammit you two, get it together


scribe just because you're a floating face, doesnt make that any more of a word


hopefully this battle wont make me mona and groana


oh and uh, he brought some pals


boop!

what, is booping illegal now?
am i not allowed to boop? D:


balloon pants special!



nobody can stay mad after seeing the balloon pants special


nice


"now you've done it! now bk's gonna have to make a 69 joke, god dammit!"


time for the OTHER anti-argument skill we have


he just throw a dove into the air and then it exploded
enjl's way of making feather-based special effects needs work



bk keeps telling all these bosses about the time he got stuck in a tupperware bowl and they all dont know how to react


okay, so apparently calm doesnt fix arguments
this i did not know


what is it with you and butts, bk?

doink



from one butt to another



you dont need arms to slap a bitch



more balloons, more heartfaces



oh jesus he breathes fire what the shit



a final smack with a whisk knocks the big boy out


Cheers♪


HEY ENJL GETS WHATS FOR DINNER
DING YOU GUESSED IT
MORE FUCKIN' TOAST




for destroying a priceless art piece, we get two chests with a bunch of loot in them


rocky and calamari take after the communists and start lenin a hand to eachother
that was terrible bk
what are you even doing at this point




yknow, now that i think of it
where do these prizes come from?
who's making this cheescake


calamari prepares to invade yoshi's wooly world

a bunch of paths open up for us, but lets start with the one on the left


what is it little bk
what do your pudding eyes see


ooooh noooo someone made some very terrible looking statues!




"It's aaaaaaall in your head, BK, it's in your imagination"


with naps and nightmares out of the way, we've got a split path on our hands


i appreciate that majority of neksdor's enemies are just reskins of the fossil enemy


rocky's charged up attack does tons of damage



yknow they say that a pharaoh is buried with all the things he'd need in the afterlife
so whoever was buried in this pyramid mustve really liked gambling


a new enemy sort of, its a palette swap of the boulder enemies we encountered earlier


they summed it up about as well as i would


calamari continues to eat way too many sweets, to the point that the company that makes them changed their recipe


AND HE PRA- wait i already used that joke



oh great now im gonna have to look at another macho outfit
hopefully this one isnt as vascular


oh jesus its even worse


on the bright side, rocky finally gets some super great duds


north east more like uh... north LEAST
GOTTEM


wow its these idiots again


i hope you're ready for some more toast, enjl


couldnt go down easy, couldya pyramid?


yknow if they tried
one of those mummies could probably hold one of those rocks in their mouth



the aoe still managed to hit enjl but hey

they managed to level up from this so who can complain


how do i shot bandage


so THIS is what the mummies do, they steal people's weapons
shame they stole the one from our priest rather than, yknow, an offensive class


doesnt matter though, enjl's not afraid to punch the shit out of a mummy

wait these mummies are hollow
w-what is it sticky with


this is the enjl power hour starring enjl as enjl


upon finishing up, rocky becomes better friends with the star of the show


aight time to go finish this up


even slabs of stone need to put on a bit of makeup now and then


a very dramatic shot for a fairly undramatic battle


calamari and enjl level up from all this stone-based experience


okay final intersection lets go


PULL THE LEVER, ENJL


sky candy! from the sky gods!


cant be over until we've fought these buggers again


cool cats dont look at explosions


do i need to go grab the cheers theme again


they can now share their bananas ;)


bright pink cats, the true master of the savannah

We go and see what Tenda has to say, before continuing delving into the pyramid!



YOU'VE BEEN A WONDERFUL CROWD
SHOW BY TALKHAUS!!

...we've got the cat character covered at least

time to call in on our local '''adventurer''', see what they have to say


boo it is i, puddi


normally i avoid potholes
pholtosing on the other hand, i am a fan of



you hear that, guys?
TOP
SECRET
whatever you do
do NOT tell people via a thread full of images on the internet


man kanye's new song sounds very experimental



listen if i see a lever, i may not be able to resist


well that sure was a thing


oh a bunch of levers
if only someone was here to tell me what to do D:


step one: dont pull the lever


I DID IT I SOLVED THE PUZZLE


okay fine


dont pull, pull, pull






shortly later, in the inn


rockys in rocky territory


NOT SO NICE WHEN YOU'RE THE ONE GETTING THE BUM GIFT, HUH ENJL?

but poor rocky, he looks so sad :c




some free sanga's

thanks to tenda's advice, we unlock the way to a hidden treasure spot!




the level opens with two chests, one with a buttload of money and one with some pieces of paper



oh well, enjls falled into an alternate reality game
rip



rocky Remembers™


we'll always remember you maybe
no promises



not all the chests are quite so friendly


i missed out on getting a group shot of the enemies, but i think the middle one was a hieroglyph


but with the power of the underworld, we quickly dispatch them


and time for the reward we've been searching for

its uh

um
what was this doing in a pyramid?


oh well, we got a bunch of loot, so can't complain


hopefully you mean a change of clothes


enjl legally changed his middle name to 'bubblegum', too


now his hair matches rocky's clothes
a match made in some blindingly pink hellscape

with secret treasure in hand, back to the main path of the dungeon


waiting to greet us is a big wall of stone


breakin' boulders is best done with E.T. merchandise and a pointy cake on a stick



new food! nice tasty chillis :3



the pit has come back for a second round at enjl


i just really like this sound effect


our pit summoning dance party was a success! :D


doofy mummy friend brings some more rock friends


POWERFUL eyebrows


aaaaaand we're done here
short and sweet, good



for hitting the threshold of 700 people, sprinkles begin to poor from the ceiling
dripping down the walls and flowing through the windows
please save us from the endless tide of sprinkles



rockys all about laws and/or orders



but since bk sleeps all the time, nobody's allowed to make noise ever



calamari what are you plotting




calamari what the fuck

Dungeons! Fungeons! This level is almost Donegeons!



AND THEY ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER ON
THE TALKHAUS PRINCESS

...:3

im like 80% sure this location will like, open that gate
and if i go to the gate before now it will just go 'cant do it lol'





what



im glad you guys are enjoying this
but still the question stands
what


thats the chillest looking cobra ive ever seen


and now theyre the deadest looking cobra slash mummy ive ever seen



a nice box of free money, always good


its our shady merchant duo, coryman and owl!
first time we're having a double face showdown


a stoic shield!

and a suspicious scimitar!



BLOCK BLOCK BLOCK

can't attack coryman without owl stepping in to block



looks like we're not the only ones who can use combo attacks



not to mention cory attacks twice
we've got a string of attacks to deal with
luckily they dont hit too hard



what good is a shield with no guard? :3c


POW
is that the first triple digit damage for this party?

either way, its enough to knock shield face out


midway through the battle, calamari and enjl learn what co-operation is


a few attacks later, and enjl lands the finishing blow on corysword



two for the price of one, yo


bk levels up!

and we get some more food items!
please dont try to eat swords and/or shields
it is not healthy


dead things? in a tomb? impossible


aww poor little guy


b-bk you can stop crying now
the floor is getting flooded


oh great now enjls gone insane


bk goes from bawling his eyes out to ovo at a moments notice


dont tell me what to do, strange spirit inhabiting a nerd


probably gout


what a rude ghost



bk why are you like this



bk once ate a whole bunch of toblerones and astral projected into a supermarket to buy more


a door? should be able to find one


bk and calamari get closer, but then...


unrealistic


calamari get down here and bloody help me


okay apparently this is helping somehow


bk passed out from all the cleaning fumes and didnt wake up for like two weeks
this is calamari's way of sending flowers


new spear! :D
now i can poke things better >:3c


enjl buys a 'Magic Jeweled Staff' from a shopping channel

the faces return to their homes
oh right and scribe too
i forgot about him


STILL NOT A WORD


good thing i didnt, or you wouldnt get it back


money... riches... gold...

dangit another one of these things



yall have no idea how happy i am that coryman isnt calling owl daddy



i didnt know miis had those
i thought they were just full of paper mache


this time its GOTTA be money

dangit

delving back into the pyramid and picking the door presents us with a familar 'puzzle'


not pictured: the half hour of bk trying to jam hp bananas into the holes
wait that sounds way lewder than i intended please dont think of it that way i beg of you


we probably coulda pawned those off for a profit



knock knock guess who its puddi and pals


what lies beyond the great stone gate? we'll soon find out



cheez doesnt count as a person apparently


in there nice and deep-like


close? no, you're bk
cmon man you know that
you wrote it on your hand just in case you forgot



dangit spooky ghost, why do you keep possessing enjl



hey i know that skill!
dont get hit, itll do more damage!


bk last time you tried to do that you got arrested by the space police



also near? i thought his name was raocow!


speak of the devil


well guess what? i got more!


im a glutton for a lot of things, but punishment is not one of them


muda muda muda


[distant jim carrey noises]


the most confused wario sounds


its just a head mate
couldnt afford the whole minion


tuesday? ive got a haircut on monday!


king of the sands!


his face is all warping and wobbling its really unsettling
like its drawn on a bag of lumpy gravy


hey dont fucking curse! this is a chirstian thread!


enjl's just getting possessed by bloody everything today


oh god he attacks with his tentacle beard


safe zone heals status so fast that i never found out what the curse even did


the effect of this attack is rad as heck though

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Egyptian_Mau


rocky and enjl learn from ancient civilisations and prepare to sacrifice one another




calamari brings the SLAM


the whars, hars, and the hars are returned to their rightful owner


h...how old is this soup
at least its not canopic soup


who the fuck are you supposed to be


mate you're one thin ice
stepping on my fuckin' turf


hmm
HMMM

I DUNNO GUYS
SHOULD I PAY FOR A PHOTO I TOOK



bugger off you bloody tosser
get a real job


with the final face freed, time to cash in on our exploits


Big Buff Boi™ Back in Business


the G?
are you starting a rap career



:3
face-saving is becoming a hobby





"back in my day dark lords had DIGNITY! they had HONOUR!"



introspection genie


Steal-No-More! Can be yours for five easy payments of $29.99!


bk doesnt believe him at all


...is that it?
no... secret genie treasure?
no wishes? nothing?



aww beans

Judging by that big exclamation mark, I'd say our next stop is the big boulder blocking our path!



AND I WOULD'VE GOTTEN AWAY WITH IT TOO, IF IT WEREN'T FOR
HATARAKU TALKHAUS-SAMA

...less burgers, more demons

what with this being the only location we havent been yet, and the big red exclaimation mark,
id assume this is our next port of call


big ol' cheese chunks


what, are you going to do something actually useful for once?


pfft
omg


omg


i always knew he was full of hot air


with the rocks out of the way, we can move on to greener pastures
and by 'greener pastures' i mean more swamp and/or desert


calamari doesnt look too enthused by all of this


he's taking this whole 'being a cat' thing very seriously


guys
you're like a whole
five steps away from him
look i can put the images together

the parallax scrolling made this harder than i thought
BUT THE POINT STANDS
HES RIGHT THERE


looks like we're gonna have to fight without our main dps


not cats, but we do have cutlery


BE PURGED IN THE LIGHT



OwO


im not gonna do the meme


with or without boycat, we still managed to take them out


another fight, this time we have calamari with us


a pair of triple strikes take them all out before they can vore anyone



when you clothes are made out of flesh, that doesnt surprise me


eeeeeeverybody sweeeeats~♫


enjl what the fuck


even the guy in a catsuit thinks thats fuckin' weird


*various trumpet noises*

guess who it is?



its our old buddy, karatekid, master of riddles


here weee gooooooo


second from the right is amazing

option two, how could i possibly mistake our master of exploding?


this one was actually semi-difficult, they only changed the nose

thankfully, i picked the right kapus
both positionally and questionally


height and colour changed this time

thankfully i have a good memory


you cannot best me, riddle boy


we beat a minigame, to get access to another minigame

im very concerned about that individual above us, but first things first


oh no! now puddi will be PARCHED


dont pinch liquids
it doesnt do much







mate you cant make jokes like that
youll put me out of the job!


split path? gotta go north, yo


...that led IMMEDIATELY to an inn
there was nothing else here



sometimes playing with even odds pays off

and now enjl finally has some normal-looking armour


well, time to pick up where we left off


we JUST left the inn
cmon guys


count on the australian to suggest a barbie


bk dont rub the food on your face
thats impolite


calamari where the fuck did you find that
we're in the middle of the desert



you brought this curse upon us calamari, you eat it



well
turns out it wasnt horribly poisoned
dammit


he shat like a champion


theres so many names they barely fit on the screen


one shot from rocky wiped the whole lot of them out
butterflies arent quite as scary as they once were


and thats that! straight into the inn

it doesnt normally linger on this shot for so long...


oh god dammit not again


he cant keep getting away with it!


*magical noises*



bk keeps getting all his friends stolen :c


roll a perception check



you'd think we'd see this coming by this point
fool me once and all that


determined pudding!



if he really wanted to be rid of us
why didnt he do this DURING the pharaoh boss fight
like, we'd be level one against a dungeon boss


"by the power of capitalism, i hereby bestow you with the lifelong task of...!"


YOU BET YOUR ASS I PICKED PRINCESS


in case anyone was wondering, santa over here offered the new classes of 'flower, tank and princess' along with all the old ones


mean hwile, on the moon


oh hey, remember these guys? no? me neither


what does kapus seeee?

a bunch of weirdoes huddling in fear


well they got over that fast


welcome to the endless void



he's better at kidnapping people than he is at face-theft


boats dont float in the void


ew bk
nobody likes that guy







"what?! people actually LIKE that guy?!"



its the law that friends of friends have to be friends


he's workin' something hard, thats for sure



A-Team and B-Team, UNITE!