TALKTOPIA - Post-Game Adventures!

[Ivy]

I can only think of the classic vldc "abstract" music

[BurntTenda]

Yay you finished my quest
I forgot what it was but yay

Peculia makes me think of Willy Wonka's chocolate factory.

[Dizzybelle]

EPISODE SEVENTY-FIVE

yknow what bothers me
how a takeout place can charge $5 for a can of soft drink/soda/cool drink/coke/pop/whatever you people call those things
and then you can buy a box of 10 cans of the same drink from the supermarket for $5
what the hell, capitalism

this has been a weird anecdote from bk

Wacky Town!

this path clearly doesnt lead anywhere so of course we're doing it first


...slorm
it's like i named these things, bloody hell




i dunno why i decided to supercharge calamari on this one
but it happened regardless




wow, turns out jojk can use spicy dish
and since he's not a real party member, there's no relationship backlash



that slorm didnt deserve that
that slorm got slammed into the next century
that slorm got nuked from orbit
that slorm's family is gonna feel that for the next seven generations


oh and bk killed one too i guess
its not as impressive


triple levels, baby~♫


ivy gets a souped up lightning spell
first a powered up fire spell
then a powered up lightning spell
does that mean


okay so
at this point my memory card got full
so i had to stop and redo this level
this wasnt really a big deal it just meant i had to fight these slorms again




but in doing so, we encountered the first use of ivy's new spell
a DEFINITE power boost


anways, back on track
we've got options of shrubs or the roads in my hometown


lets get bushy


oh it's THAT kind of bush



kitties! :D

this is always a good time


anotha one™


this looks like he just slid forwards towards the bush


there's a lot of kitties here :o
peculia is getting better and better


...donnut touchshroom
who's writing this
im gonna go fight the writers of this game


i dunno how flattering that dance is but you do you buddy




oh god
why would you think this a good idea, mr/mrs/other mushroom
you have unleased the beasts

ps. ivy's far too chill for this


this fuckin' image is way too funny to me



eeeeeeeeeeeeew
thats groooooooooooss


having three people automatically boosted by the enemies, as it happens, makes the fight PRETTY easy


ivy and sturg successfully video games


the number of dead birds and/or rodents calamari has put in our shoes has definitely diminished the meaning of 'prezzie'






and so, the magical level six is reached


sturg goddammit
you were supposed to buy MUNITIONS


good god thats a frightening item
it looks like its made of flesh




we swap one cat for another


oh man i love that one

he's great


since we've already done this fight, letting the entourage handle things for us is fair


and now... potholes


bk's gonna tunnel his way back to hell





WHO BURIED A BANANA
WHY WAS IT BURIED SO DEEP?!
WHAT THE FUCK


take two, this time with more magic




ivy doesnt give a single shit about buried treasure


there's so many enemies! who nose if there's mushroom for any more!




our tank has no time to deal with enemy infantry


for reaching 1350 rescues we leave the sex number behind



i was really hoping for the equipment, but hey it could be worse

rocky was the lowest level of the group, so he gets the SAUCE




the previous cat gets invited back, and magic makes way for nature

Further Into Nowhere!

oh hey, this pointless detour has a pointless detour


god why are their so many bushes here


oh jesus christ
calamari what have you done


a nosenest! they were stopping to smell the roses


calamari you weenie
you brought this evil upon us, take responsibility



oh god
oh jesus
please god
dont
d o n t



...



look nobody needed to see that
there was a lot of graphic content there



dont breathe too much air it will kill you


the most important character ever gets a level up
and i deserve it after having to watch that nightmare sequence


more noses!
theyre EVERYWHERE


hey hold on a second

these background items are just 2d props!
THIS PLACE IS A SHAM


IS THAT A BANANA IN YOUR POCKET
OR ARE YOU JUST HAPPY TO SEE M-

oh okay it really is a banana
wait why is there a banana in your pocket


OF COURSE IT'S YELSEY



i like that yelsey just slipped this into bk's pocket and
a. he didnt notice
b. he's just FINE WITH IT


pretty late into the level, but hey, split path's ahoy


YOU


FOOL ME ONCE, MOTHERFUCKER


B E G O N E


*ahem* yeah uh so that happened



he's got 'banana fever'


speaking of bananas
god dammit bk


with a little help from ivy, lat welcomes the bakuretsu into their heart




we cannot get rid of sturg even if we try
and god are we trying



speaking of getting rid of things and sturg, banishing these noses to the shadow realm is no biggie


rocky levels up, and learns how to hit things and/or strike things


time for the south
THE south
you know the one


a goOoOoOoOolden snurp!


one attack is all it takes
after the snurp kingdom, this was pretty underwhelming



god dammit
why does this wheel hate me ;n;

well, lets let mr. sickface get some experience



rollin' again and we sign rocky up to work at a news agency



aaaaand one more time for good measure


with that money, we buy kapus a really deadly looking sword




man it really loves rolling twos, huh?
and sturg finally gets to rest

NEXT EPISODE

We move forward in the direction we're SUPPOSED to be going!



THIS MAY NOT BE THE SMARTEST MOVE
TALKHAUS FUTURE

[Ivy]

how does australia have so many potholes if there isn't even a freeze cycle?

[Dizzybelle]

EPISODE SEVENTY-SIX

man, etrian odyssey 5 is pretty great

The Bizarrest Adventure!

3, 2, 1
lets boogie


peach jellies!
i dunno if peach is a very good flavour for jelly
doesnt really sounds like it to me





we've got some options, yo
bananas, clothing or weapons

of course we're going for the most important path
bananatown


the most concerned piece of bread


he knew this was coming
he had already seen his fate










look we had like 50 spare bananas
we really didnt need these


tadah! yelsey pooped his way to freedom! :D




three more levels, our adventurers are starting to get to know each other


what's so sacred about that
looks dumb
enjl you got scammed





with a princess leading the pack, time to lead this pack of magic users into battle


return of the slimes





alright time for path two: clothes


hey!
these guys arent clothes!
i want my money back


jojk coming in with the pan-seared nose special


ivy and lat level up, powering up our board clearing powers


double the bread
double the... uh... bread








these enemies are...
toast


bk levels up, and finally learns another offensive skill for the princess



wow thats a really rad outfit
like, im actually impressed


dingus and dongus level up to six





enjl and ivy just dont wanna leave me alone :c


guess who it is
its these chumps again


no expurosion this time, ivy decided they were no longer worth it


aight, final path, the weapon pathway





enjl is very good at dispatching bread, seeing as how he used to BE bread


the legs of the running noses are really upsetting





calamari levels up, becoming our highest level party member



ivy's ready to get married


speaking of being ready for marriage, bk and yelsey continue to get ludicrously close


bk bloody hell
that looks useless as a frying pan, but absolutely deadly as a weapon





seriously
these two dorks just wont leave me alone >:|

Let's Do The Time Warp!

after clearing out that level, we gain access to a swirly whirly swirl


and by interacting with it, we're warped into... the forest!
a miniature greenhorne right in our backyard


papa slorm and the slimelings










with bk's usual level of attentiveness
im surprised he even noticed



bk you're going in the naughty corner for that
and we just got a fresh shipment of wasps


with having to put up with each other for like a dozen levels in a row, i can't blame 'em



careful? i can't be careful! my name's bk!



god dammit
ivy vs bk
the showdown we're all been waiting for


that wasnt a mushroom, luigi...



enjl banishes another hapless victim to the shadow realm


and jojk lands the finishing blow


mikko levels up, happy to be back amongst nature



we hit 1400 rescues, which means our sprinkle coffers grow even more!



it turns out mikko has hayfever
who wouldve guessed


lat and kapus finally learn what each others names are





ivy finally gets to have a rest, but enjl's still clinging on with dear life

Mysterious Woods!

more forest, but it seems this submap is pretty tiny


me too yelsey, me too - w -


what, one enemy? are we not worth more attention than that, mr enemy layout guy?



spoilers: its exactly the same as a regular pincer, just a bit stronger


nice


oh
im sorry mr layout guy i didnt mean it



rip kapus
forever in our hearts


one revival sprinkle and one hyper sprinkle later, the undead coked-up kapus gets her revenge


after all that, we get a split path



some tickets! that's good, we were running low


daww, lat's worried about sickoffier

either that, or they just wanted an excuse to use some experimental, not quite legal medicine




finally, an enjl-free party
now we can finally commit sins without him judging us constantly



this battle isnt even worth commenting on


time for 'repeat battle number two'



this time yelsey is the one to take the brunt of the attack
something about bk's face here is hilarious to me

bk your best friend just got murdered

bk please


he does care enough to ruin yelsey's attempts at stealth again


and now, for the last little area



these prizes are just the bomb


mikko realises we're done with the forest and gets over his hayfever


lat and rocky learn each other's names also



we spin the wheel and earn some exp
i dont remember who i gave it to, but they didnt level up from it so it doesnt really matter


mikkofier takes his newfound health and becomes an anime villain
but not like, a MAIN anime villain
one of the ones that shows up in the middle of a season and does some bad stuff for like, one episode then is never seen again





ivy was upset that i was so relieved at him being gone, so he's back with a vengeance

NEXT EPISODE

We find out what's on the other side of this portal! WHAT COULD IT BEEEEE?!



HOW UNFORTUNATE
CRUSHER TALKHAUS

[Bellmoore]

Mikkofier becomes

[Dizzybelle]

EPISODE SEVENTY-SEVEN

10% of a jackpot

Now You're Thinking With Portals!

where we left off, we were about to jump into a portal
what could pooooooossibly go wrooong??


tadah! now we're in Neksdor!
and for some reason karatekid is trapped in this pocket dimension too


(hot damn)


you were sick in bed for almost all of it



i mean
it's not too weird for a 'worlds in review' world



god dammit bk
that's twice now



calamari no
we know how this goes by now



you were warned, but you did not heed our warnings


rip calamari's butthole


B)
the coolest dudes


the scufflers are here to scuff


dangit guys
i forgot these two were still fighting


no sir! we can't be havin' that!


*various cartoon fighting sounds*




bloody hell guys
how the heck did you even manage to do this


REVENGE IS A DISH BEST SERVED
SPICY



GET TOASTED


look i know im not helping the situation but i couldnt resist


jojk, ignoring the shenanigans going on, steps in to finish them off


noses in the desert


they couldnt handle the fragrant bouquet of death


bk eats the cactus for its power



we get a couple more relationship levels



and, despite everything doing everything in my power to ruin it, bk and ivy's relationship is restored


ivy treats himself to something that looks like wrapping paper





and a one
and a two
and a five six seven imp!

Oasis of Treasures!

next up, ignoring quizboy for the moment, we've got a treasure space!


kicking things off right away with some path splitting action


oh hey, improved versions of the fossil enemies
you know what that means
ENJL HAS TO EAT MORE TOAST





NICE



treasure number 1: gambling!


a second split, both in a straight line so i can finish this off super quick


dont stop to sniff the cactuses its a bad idea i promise


rocky stubs his toe and bk tries to stealthily steal his microphone

dont think i didnt see it, you little shit

regardless, rocky completely misunderstood and now theyre better friends



bk, also confused by this turn of events, gives rocky a smornch for his troubles



boink


lat levels up and learns how to slurp their foes drain health
look i just got up to go get a drink and when i got back i misread my own comment as 'slurp their toes' and we arent that kinda thread so i changed it



yknow ive never had jerky before
i think i'd like it, i should probably get some sometime




time for a musical, nature-conscious, demonic war


our descent begins


sniffin' the silver



honestly jojk is a pretty good party member
offense and healing, the best of both worlds


bk levels up and learns an upgraded pitchfork spell



hey uh, sturg?
i dont think tiger tank means what you think it means


next up, a second descent


time to let loose the warriors of the underworld!


DOUBLE SPEAR ACTION


oh geez i forgot rocky had a nuke ability
he never bloody uses it


since he's the lowest level, rocky gets the bonus exp



the final treasure chest is some crusty stale-ass bikkies



enjl discover's he's allergic to sand





time for a royal, musical, sneaky fight!

A Really Dumb Quiz!

man these submaps are tiny



REALLY?! THE QUIZMASTER?!
HOLY SHIT



and he's our daily conundrum



lettuce begin


is...
is that it??
really??


as a reminder
when i take a photo, the game pauses
so this is just the game showing me an image of the mii
then i pick them
its dumb



he moved sliiiiightly faster this time
which is completely negated by the camera pause


enjl i thought you were sick
why are you here in the quiz dimension



maybe its because im so used to taking these photos that the timing is just too obvious


ding, there's the last one


you're a sham karatekid! A SHAM!



he flees from me because he knows i will smite him

NEXT EPISODE

We head back to the forest to check out where the other portal leads!



BUM! BUM! BADADADADUM!
100% TALKHAUS-SENSEI

[BurntTenda]

toast sandwich
I should try this sometime

[Mata Hari]

toast sandwich
I should try this sometime

It's not actually as lame as it sounds on first blush... but it's still pretty lame.

[Coryman]

Jerky is pretty good usually, but it's more expensive than chocolate (where I live at least), which means over double the price of normal meat

[Dizzybelle]

EPISODE SEVENTY-EIGHT

a tired boy

A Brief Interlude!

last time, we left off on the other forest teleporter
and through it is a treasure space!


rocky, you hear that?
you're great :3



locked up in this ol' box is a big pile 'o dosh


aaaaand thats it
thats the level


yelsey get's stoned




despite that level being stupidly short, rules are rules and that means mixing things up



alright, so
after finishing that level, i stopped playing for a bit, turned my 3ds off and stuff
when i came back, i was greeted to this since i had turned 'spotpass' miis on
(i had them turned off originally, but since we're getting generic filler miis in the travellers hub, i figured might as well)


oh geez
so yeah, the gist of this is to gauge the quality of miis in the community

of course im picking the two most BEAUTIFUL specimens


these polls come in pairs, one for 'well designed' and the other for 'personality'

i gotta pick mr. grumpy dragon


and for that little detour, we're rewarded with some free tickets
kinda cheap in my opinion
i could conceivably grind for tickets by doing this

However You Like!

heading back to the portal in the desert, we gain access to the goal!


:o


that always bothered me too


DIG IN BOYS
THIS ONE'S A BIGGIN'


like all burgers, this one comes with two additional free pieces of bread


time for a double does of PAIN



this is basically the same as calamari's double scratch, but instead it does magic damage


no burger is complete without lat's Secret Sauce™



That was too close! You were almost a Kapus sandwich!

i deserve the level up after that amazing joke



OH GOD
MY HUBRIS


ALL OF MY NIGHTMARES HAVE COME AT ONCE


you look way too happy about this situation



oh thank christ


bk please dont smile while you say that



with the help of a coked-up calamari, we topple the mighty burg


kapus levels up, joining the 'double [attack]' club


man that looks like one hell of a burger



yes, because the chef that was afraid of a burger would be the best person to ask about a world consuming calamity



well I heard she's got a big nose!


welp, mission complete regardless


calamari now's really not the time for your delusions


enjl gets cured of his butt cancer



more relationship levels! we're out here gettin' p-p-p-p-powerful~!


mikkofier is trying to attract a mate



god dammit roulette wheel
you really do hate me dont you? ;n;


well, it was enough to push yelsey and bk up to the next level



rolling again gives kapus a badass sword straight out of final fantasy



and one more for a chunk of change





a scientist, a chef, a mage and a musician
we're ready for dnd, boys

All The Hubbub!

Now's probably a good time to mention a thing:
We ran out of queue members again.
Jojk was the last Mii that got added to the previous refresh
And so, that means we needed to fill the queue again
This time, to make things semi-fair, I decided to add minor characters that only appeared once so far, basically, all the npcs that didnt get re-added last time, EXCEPT THE ONES THAT HAD MAJOR ROLES (eg. Princess pholtos, The Fab Fairies, Genie Cheez etc).
Also, for the characters in the Travellers Hub that get randomised every time, I have turned on Spotpass so at least they might be someone interesting without me wasting someone's turn on somebody that get's one line of dialogue then vanishes

Without further ado, back to adventure!


when entering back, we're met with... an elf cat


link please
hyrule is in ruins
why are you like this


falcon's fallen on hard times since nintendo refuses to make a new f-zero, and has resorted to a life of crime

i mean, it's one street with a bunch of weirdoes but you do you i guess


if the setting of f-zero is 'the countryside' i'd love to see the city


oh geez another one


i dont know if fortune tellers are the most reliable meteorologists but hey


i uh dont know who you are
sorry mate

ME TOO MAN

YOU BET YOUR ASS

we shared an evil laugh for a good 20 minutes


a new quest! and a familiar face!

the dark return of the grandma-turned-mage Minna!


maybe with something thats not that weird soup from last time we spoke
though judging by your title you've improved considerably


she'd tell you she is, at least



disclaimer: the name featured her was of a mii that was sent to the shadow realm in favour of a talkhauser
who that person is, however, will be shown later


man i wonder if master roshi knows about this



it looks like our next mission is to head to this 'nimbus' with minna!


well, seeing as how we have literally no other options
then yes, i am sure

let's roll, baby

NEXT EPISODE

With a new ally in tow, we head to the very obviously placed cloud world, Nimbus!



BUH BUH BADAAAAH
MAHOUTSUKAI NO TALKHAUS

[Mata Hari]

I mean either you actually already know the etymology of the word 'hamburger' or you could look it up

[Ivy]

Jerky is pretty good usually, but it's more expensive than chocolate (where I live at least), which means over double the price of normal meat

yeah sadly jerky is one of the most inefficient ways to eat meat. Still makes for a nice treat once in a while.

[Dizzybelle]

EPISODE SEVENTY-NINE

well, yeah, i know a hamburger's name has nothing to do with 'ham'
but the overlap of languages still makes me think of the english parts first

Head in the Clouds!

last time we met up with Minna and are now headed to a new area!


it's a cloooooud wooooorld!


got some sciency future stuff going on too


as a scientist, lat's having a massive internal dilemma about standing on water vapour



but seeing bk having so much fun, they put it aside


the happiest pudding


we're being presented with a split path on the map

not like it matters anyway, im gonna be doing all of them anyway


robo-gerblins!
mechanical gerbs!
...who the hell would build these


this image was timed too well



they dont really do anything that other gerblins havent done before, so its safe to purge them with hellfire


time for that one post rocky made ages ago to finally come into play

i have no idea what it's a reference to but hey orders are orders


lat and rocky's relationship ain't so rocky


daww
thats a really cute outfit


kapus is ready for a childrens televison show




science religion crimes and cooking
uniting for the ultimate fight!


or, yknow, another path


it seems gerblins arent the only old enemy that got digitized, now we've got skellies too!


yelsey's too scared of getting boned, so he sets a trap instead



glitching robots makes a lot of sense, honestly




minna makes short work of the short nerd



and yelsey overcomes his fear to finish off the other one



a couple more levels for relationships, gotta get stronger yo





let's see who reigns as supreme mage, minna or ivy?

A Very Sky Place Dangerous!

with that taken care of, let's take care of the top path


paths leading into paths
the options are endleeeeeeeeess


we went upwards last time, let's do it again


couple of boneheads blocking our path



DOUBLE FRISBEE STRIKE



as is becoming a bit of a trend, the mage burns the last enemy to cinders


gerblins and skeletons teaming up! what a horrible future this is


robotic comedy
beep boop airplace food boop beep

ivy's cooler than 90% of cucumbers

...rocky on the other hand is more of a boiled cabbage


NOBODY EXPECTS THE YELSEY KINGQUISITION!


for being the coolest cat around, ivy gets a level up



it turns out mikkofier is allergic to the sky







BOOM LOVE EXPLOSION
MILLIONS DEAD





everyone knows the best way to deal with a cloud is to throw a cat at it


knock knock guess who its path clearing


grandperson lat is sick of all these clouds


BETRAYAL


...wait why is there a puddle on top of a cloud
what



about to scientifically open a can of whupass
...not angry enough for a quarrel, apparently


but enough internal fighting, we've got enemies!


...enemies that were dispatched without much of a fight whatsoever







lat's just refusing to let us leave without them

Flying Freely!

top path down, now for the bottom path


the gerb team moseys on up


another well timed snapshot




DOUBLE KILL


this one seems basically the same as the top path, which makes things pretty straightforward

but this time, lets do the bottom path :3


bk's not even hiccuping he's just saying 'hic' over and over again







i can't believe bk's fuckin' dead

'shit what have i done'
'lat help me hide the body'


bwaaap bwaaap


mikkofier magically transferred his allergies over to sturg
magic is scary


this one time, me and the lads...

...got real plastered by drinking six year old orange juice

'i cant believe they drank all my juice... :c'

bonding over past mistakes is a good way to make friends





and again, lat continues to cling to their space in the team


putting aside why you'd build these, why would you build SO MANY OF THESE
GEEZ



with the explosive powers of poking, the gerb goons go down


aight, time for the other way


ENJL WE'RE WALKING ON CLOUDS
THERE'S NOTHING TO TRIP ON


thankfully, bk is also a clumsy dingus and understands how he feels


...aaaaaaand thats all
that was kinda anticlimactic


for hitting 1450 rescues, we get EVEN MORE sprinkles




a trio of levels, we're on the highway to friendship town
population us




a beat-boxing dessert, now i've seen everything

the duet nobody needed or asked for but it happened anyway

these love animations are getting out of hand





we finally managed to get lat to take a break
using a large amount of duct tape

NEXT EPISODE

Quizzes! Treasure! This world has it all!



THE KIDS ARE OUT OF THE PICTURE
TALKHAUS ½ SUPER

[Dizzybelle]

EPISODE EIGHTY

sorry about the lack of an episode
ive got a lot of college stuff going on
i wrote college as 'clooge' for a second there so that kinda shows how frazzled i am

Quiz and Qtreasure!

kick things off with some questions!


some idiot, i bet


you're karatekid5! alright gimme my prize now



oh no theyre onto me
they know im recycling miis

there she is, there's grandma



oh ew it's elves
who let elves in here

the edgiest elf



oh man theyre not including names this time, just titles
katazuki get outta here you're an elf not a person

money 'dipping your entire chin into a bucket of white paint' man



yay more mp sweets that im not gonna eat ever


aight with that diversion out of the way, let's grab some treasure



who sent this sashimi up into the sky?
you could say this is some skyward sword sashimi



another chest, this time it's a big ol' pile of money



some new duds for rocky
he's lookin' STYLIN'


its made out of solid corn
indestructable




lat's had enough time on the bench and wants back in to the squad

Southern Crossing!

treasure? check
quiz? check
regular level that leads to another treasure? next up!


waiting to welcome us is the gerbsquad, back from the dead once again



fortunately for us, they are still very allergic to being killed


new enemies! some politicians!


ITS TIME

BIG
FISH

LEGEND!


theyre basically the same as the hobgerblins from earlier, single target basic attack and an all-target swipe


unfortunately, i wasnt fast enough with the sprinkles and lat gets murdered


BK GEAR: REVENGENCE


dont hurt bk's friends!



wow its just like real life
one easy to fix problem turns me into a useless crybaby
good times




ivy's not the only who can blast the world


thanks to minna's efforts, both lat and yelsey level up


it's sky whiskey!

im surprised he listened to me after last time


oh hey i didnt kill him this time
great, i guess


time for 'enemies in review'!


it's warning 2! the sequel to warning!


hey guess what
it's exactly the same as a regular warning
(i think it just has a better success rate or something)


smack that scaly back to it's imageboards


catboy genius levels up


sturgs arthritis has eased up a bit, and he's ready for more combat


you boys are doing me a concern


putting a face on your munitions gives a +5 damage boost





double cats, double wizards and a princess to lead them

Inching Forwards!

you'd think i'd do the treasure space next, but you'd be wrong
im gonna do them in order of which is closest to the start
for some reason


a few potential candidates have come forth to challenge my reign of the sky!



ONLY BK IS FIT TO RULE THE SKIES!


the lack of an enemy in this shot just implies yelsey did a backflip for no reason



we're in the clouds, were electricity lives, so lightning powers are the way to go!


i forgot to take a shot of the opening group
so take this image of calamari smacking them a bit



death is swift and it's name is Richard 'YelseyKing' McSmellybutt
that's his real name trust me im a doctor
i promise


geez this place is just crawling with goons



its a really rad effect, i'll give 'em that
but not rad enough to get them any votes



casting fire spells with a bouquet of flowers can't be safe


hi beat im bk
wait


this is an rpg there's gonna be a lot of enemies in it


the smuggest cat



listen, yelsey
you've said some dumb things in your time
but this takes the cake, ice cream, and the rest of the dessert tray


mii bk can smell bullshit a mile away


speaking of ice cream, yelsey get's into foodplay




healer, mage, dps and whatever bk is
let's roll

NEXT EPISODE

We potentially clear out the rest of Nimbus!



WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED HERE?!
EVIL OR TALKHAUS

[Ivy]

my corn is sampled from the finest of palaces

[Minnakht]

Aw heck yeah I'm a chef-mage now

ITS TIME

BIG
FISH

LEGEND!

This is actually a grandma power!
also http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Halibut

ivy's not the only who can blast the world

casting fire spells with a bouquet of flowers can't be safe

Whatever do you mean, it's a Nintendo tradition!


but yeah
this is like the best class
thank you so much

[Dizzybelle]

EPISODE EIGHTY-ONE

probably wont be an episode tomorrow for college reasons
but that's kinda business as usual, honestly

BK In The Sky With Bananas!

middle road's up next, THEN we can get the loot


hmmm
HRMMM
which path is the good one, i wonder?

duh, of course it's the first one


oh no!
it was a cleverly disguised trap!



luckily fire works pretty well at destroying gerblins


bk levels up from that, so in the end, who really trapped who?


we enter...
THE BONE ZONE


there is no room for skeletons in bk's kingdom
as a person made of pudding im pretty sure he doesnt even know what bones are


more aspiring candidates vying for my throne


this looks like calamari just picked them up and tossed them


hehehe
he said poop

i cant wait for bed either, man



theyre also exactly the same as all the other ones



bk you cant just make up facts
i can tell by the look on your face that you have no idea what youre talking about

this is not the face of a smart person


mikko dont encourage him



my beds not made of clouds, but it is made of comfy



speaking of inns, we arrive right after and get some relationships going


as much as it pains me to get rid of the fish, better equipment takes priority




basically the same team as before, but with a backing track


aight, time for some 'nanners


bk finds... a pile of dirt
in the clouds
yeah, because digging down into a dirt pile on top of a cloud makes sense

who the hell buried a banana




yknow, when it said 'banana hunt' or whatever
i was expecting a little more than 'we dropped some bananas around go find them'


yelsey must make the biggest moral choice of his life


the result of this is bananas
which is the end result of every choice in life


that's that little adventure done, yo



enjl gets skyarrhea



if its a fish im gonna laugh so hard


bk you actual dingus

it's just a poster-sized version of this image


that was enough to further their friendship, at least




we're just shuffling around the same five party members at this point


might as well include the treasure space in here, since its real short



calamari paints his dumb spikeball-fists gold which somehow makes them more powerful



and if the fists werent enough, we get a bunch of cash for our trouble too


calamari, not satisfied with solid gold fists, spends all that money on a weeb outfit




for his capitalist desires, calamari has been banished to the 'Shame Center'
sturg takes his place

Stratospheric Strike!

well, this is where our magical space gps is leading us
let's see what awaits us!


somethings SHOCKING apparently

behold! the [redacted] is revealed!
it was yoshicookiealien all along!


it turned out mount olympus was just full of aliens the whole time!

...and some gerblins i guess


it's time for an ALL OUT ATTACK!


with a x4 boosted double sonicboom, the gerbs dont stand a chance


oh no!
the aliens are sucking yelsey's banana!
...wait that doesnt sound right



you know you're really not paying attention when 'Captain Unobservant' has to help you

'hey take like two steps back'
'i would die for you'



the REAL bass cannon is ready to fire!

a whole 00 damage! amazing!
(okay it was 100 but the timing was off)



with a pitch perfect rendition of Smash Mouth's hit song 'Walking on the Sun'
rocky repels the alien invastion

rocky you're looking the wrong way
the camera's over here
rocky please


and so the spirit of zeus is released once more!

...none of these look appetising at all
dont eat weird alien gummy things
it will almost certainly be bad


wait does he know im reusing his mii
theyre onto me


wow what a great title


it's been... about 46 episodes since we were in neksdor?
something like that


'and one way less adorable than when my monster form'


i have a name, thank you very much


tadah!
we did it! :D


so uh...
lovely weather we're having, huh?


yes i know its a pretty dumb name



man that couldve been anything
do you know how many ominous flying things there are in this world



masterful editing on my part




THAT WOULD PROBABLY BE RELEVANT, YES






oh you know
THE GIANT FUCKING OMINOUS TOWER
THATS NOT OBVIOUS AT ALL

how did you not notice that you little dingus


welp back to the inn and enjl's done pooping clouds


calamari and sturg start praising the sun, since we're so close to it



now that we're slightly further away from heaven, bk re-adopts his demon form


this is becoming the yelsey show feat. rocky


huh, i thought we'd at least get access to hoeloe
i suppose we'll be coming back here

NEXT EPISODE

We go knock on the door of the big spooky sky tower! What could possibly go wrong?



RETURN TO LAST CHECKPOINT?
TALKHAUS MYSTERY MAN

[YelseyKing]

oh no!
the aliens are sucking yelsey's banana!
...wait that doesnt sound right

Whoa there! Lewd! Way too lewd!

[Dizzybelle]

EPISODE EIGHTY-TWO

sorry about the late update
another nap went longer than planned >.>

A New Destination!

what is it with dark lords and big spooky towers
who even builds these things
'Big Spooky Tower Construction Co.'


brought to you by the moron who called themself the 'darker lord'


yes, that dingus


more giant towers, more gem-based locks
reeeeal creative, dorker lord



dont worry ive got this


oh uh, that too i guess


bananas are gonna work one of these days, mark my words


well i mean, where else was i gonna go


new npcs! well, new old npcs!


that title is code for 'owns a meth lab'



i need your arms, quick


can you build my robot waifu
ive got like, $4 on paypal



jewels arent robots!
thats ridiculous!


ive been there, yes
didnt see any jewels


this is a dumb joke



s-sterile plant? thats a gross sounding name



is that a lewd statement?
i feel like thats a lewd statement


oh i thought i smelled elf



dumb salad? is that different to regular salad?


ENOUGH is ENOUGH i've HAD IT


well look no further, the sweetest pud has arrived



if it's your measurements for the last dang time im not interested



that sounds like a terrible place to store your sweets



whoa whoa whoa lady
you're bein' a bit forward



bk's far too stupid to fall for the charms of a lady
or whatever tangeruse is


oh hey look who it is, an npc from the first town



i always have time for a fan ;)



god dammit i leave you alone for FIVE MINUTES
...well more like two months but DETAILS


mice? that's not very nice



doesnt he have a royal guard
wouldnt they be more suited to monster removal than a politician


well at least he admits it


i guess its a good of a place as any



'True Nightmare Tower'
who the hell is building these god damn spooky towers



hashtag deal with it


oh no


oh no


zyg what are you doing


u-uh i just remembered i have this thi-

dangit i cant run away D:


a spooky looking jewel? i think someone was looking for those


good instincts kiddo



you beefed it



man your friend has such a weird name



no way am i saving such a WEIRDO


wait didnt we JUST save you?
living a double life



why would you come HERE of all places


yeah his big spooky yaoi hands are seared into my retina


hello me :D


any time i read anything containing 'knocking about' i cant help but think of karl pilkington



what a coinkidink



i mean even if its not i can sell that shit for mad cash



YOU DID WHAT



i gotta check my options first homie


not yet, yo
not yet


seems he's dropped the shady businessman schtick and admitted to being a theif


no i cant :3


man everybody's friends with this [REDACTED] guy


weird jewels?! who would want one of those




oh great now we've got magpies to deal with


i mean, that's fair
most normal people run away from giant monsters




hrm, i havent Ghontu any caves lately...


YOU LIVE A LIFE OF CRIME



well it makes sense to do the quests in order of difficulty


you cant just say that and not explain where it is
you're not dialogue-loopholeing your way out of this!


i was gonna keep it regardless

Desert Visit!

welp, time to duck back into Neksdor
i do like that it's bringing us back to old areas


snuuuuuuuuuurp


we meet again, mr/mrs rare snurp!


PREPARE YOURSELF


B E G O N E


heck yeah exp


a new area's open!

it's a big ol' musty cave


diving into the level, and we're greeted by the coolest cucumbers around



blastin' boys all day



two level ups, one normally and one with bonus exp



ivy using his magical mage powers to spot dirt



L O D S OF E M O N E


glyphs? what is this, a cloister of trials?



[various exploding noises]


the cosmic powers of exploding have been enhanced!



MAYBE THIS ONE WILL OPEN THE DOOR
brb

...

nope didnt work



more relationship levels!


sailor bk reporting for duty! :D





The Deadly 17s
thats our band name

NEXT EPISODE

We do some more spelunking!



WOW... JUST... WOW.
SHOUJO TALKHAUS RYOKOU

[Bean]

It's good to be caught up again, and I see I've left Sturg to become a stuck up scientist. Sounds about right.

[Minnakht]

I guess we know how Sturg ended up as a tank, then.

[Mata Hari]

L O D S OF E M O N E

sorry how are you even aware of this nonsense

[Mata Hari]

this is this is an this is this is an in
this is this is an this
this is an insult to our intelligence

Ｓ Ｈ Ｕ Ｔ Ｙ Ｏ Ｕ Ｒ Ｍ Ｏ Ｕ Ｆ

[Dizzybelle]

EPISODE EIGHTY-THREE

that video used to be on the vinesauce autoplay on their old website
before they all moved to seperate twitch channels
the autoplay was always going when nobody was streaming and my timezone is so dumb that nobody was ever live
so sometimes i'd just chill in the chat with some other weirdoes

oh right update
bit late because i was at the cinema watching some guy with a very sore tongue
sore enough that he kept lisping the word 'sore'

The Long Boring Road!

i aint gonna beat around the bush here folks
this level is the single longest, most BORING level i'd had to clear thus far
so instead of the usual treatment, i'm gonna do something different to make it at least semi-interesting

here's the fully completed map

you can image how long this took to do
300 images

So instead of showing all 300
here's the highlight reel


RUN #1


This same enemy layout three times in a row!



one of which was a trap, hidden in the first chest



enjl and bk share a loving moment stemming from some healing magic



sturg demonstrated his new ability to heal himself...


...an action that was made completely redundant by enjl healing him before the move finished

"i cant believe you've done this"


kapus demonstrated her amazing ability to swing her arm TWICE instead of once



it can either multitarget or hit one dude, but it's a useful ability



bk and sturg leveled up from those fights



ew gross put it back
i-i mean uh... we got some curry in the second chest




for rescuing 1500 people, we get some more sprinkles and increased naughty corner security
i wonder if there's a limit to these rescue rewards


enjl, being a master of friendship earns another notch on his belt
(he doesnt actually own a belt he just tells people he does and the lie has gotten out of his hands at this point)


kapus plays a bit too much zelda and starts cosplaying as one of the enemies




rocky buys a second hand microphone from someone on ebay named 'koopaking69'



noooooo...
my hubris :c



third time's the charm

and using that money, bk gets a new frying pan





RUN #2 - feat. chef bk, mikko, lat and yelsey

A CONVERSATION

some of them, at least
i mean, i wouldnt buy a rafflesia for a date


that face warms anyone's hearts



butt yelsey
it is his true name







just the one battle this time around


mikko leveled up after swallowing a cactus whole
it was horrifying you shouldve seen it
he unhinged his jaw and screamed the whole time


warning! warning! friendship inbound!






RUN #3 - feat imp bk, lat, mikko and rocky

A THING


blah blah bananas in pockets blah blah happy to see me blah blah


you can only do the banana joke once before the joke police come and beat you up
ive been on the run for years



YELSEY
WHAT HAVE WE TOLD YOU ABOUT SLIPPING YOUR BANANA INTO PEOPLE'S HOLES
wait


we carry two bananas around each at all times
and nobody eats them because sprinkles are far better


only one battle on this path too


lat shows off that he's now part grass-type!



it functions the same as ignite, but instead of splash damage it drains health


enjl continues to become a god of friendship






RUN #4 - feat. princess bk and the elven forest crew

A CONVERSATION

hey man im doing my best



a scientist? doing an experiment?!
IMPOSSIBLE




it turns out lat was the TRUE DARK LORD all along!



maybe if you were wearing actual gloves and not silk ballroom gloves


thats it thats where the talk ends
well done guys this was a good natural end to a conversation



two identical fights on this run, neither of them interesting


calamari learns what an exhaust port is supposed to be used for


bk summons the spirit of disco





RUN #5 - feat princess bk, lat, mikko and kapus




all this run had were three battles of exactly the same enemies


kapus got a level up from it all, though



a few more levels in relationships


enjl steals some weapons from the world of warcraft room next door



the roulette grants a free vacation


just because i like seeing how high i can get this number

these animations are getting silly
they floated in a circle like that for a while somehow





RUN #6 - feat princess bk, rocky, ivy and sturg




this run just has the same three battles in a row and nothing else


mikko gets festive for the wrong holiday





and that's the beast finished!
can you believe that was the SHORT VERSION?!

A Hole Lot of...!

with that massive disaster out of the way, let's check what's behind door number one



its probably another corpse
he does this every time we see a graveyard
and gets spooked every single time


underground banana action!



SORRY NOTHING


well since that was so short, time to do another level


im gonna be seeing split paths in my nightmares now :C


didnt you losers see all of your brethren that i murdered
YOU SHOULD FEAR ME


BEGONE


a second split
at least i can finish this in one run and not six



a huge pile of rare food! hell yeah!
i dont think keeping your gummies between two giant hunks of meat is very good



more levels, more destinies
i dont know what that statement means, im very tired




the arrow of power charges bk's imp powers to the maximum!
...not really but he likes to pretend


alright, time to finish this



more rare food! this place is doing wonders for our stats


second split time



some worthless peons come and fall at the feet of a warrior of god




because apparently we didnt have enough rare food after all of this




calamari's been off building pyramid schemes while we've been spelunking

NEXT EPISODE

We finish off the underground! The magic jewel will be ours!



BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT A HERO DOES
TALKHAUS MAOU NO TESTAMENT