1v1 me: Bad Puns Edition

[Slimeman01]

Ok!
So, GIMME YOUR WORST PUNS EVER.
Ready, GO!

Hey, imagine this: Illuminati at Confirmation
(Get it? Illuminati confirmed XD)

[Duvi0]

[insert any chuggaaconroy pun]
I win.

[tovarischkrasnyjeshi]

"EY says the world's godless, likening us to an elaborate sim in Conway's GoL. But he fails to account for Gnon-Deterministic turing machines"

--Map of Territory, twitter (not mine)

EDIT: Also I'm pretty sure Marriland's pretty close to Chugga if not worse

[Mata Hari]

OP is 12

[Pikabread]

OP is 12

UHHHHHHM. According to profile it's 13.

also you care because??? hooray saracasm
EDIT: insert pun here
insert laugh track here

[Wolfolotl]

what did the beaver say to the tree
it's been nice gnawing you

[Picochilla]

this isn't bunny at all

[Sorel]

Nopon intended.

Are you already feeling it?

[Mata Hari]

OP is 12

UHHHHHHM. According to profile it's 13.

That wasn't bad though you have to admit.

[Dragon Fogel]

Who rules over all deer?

The King of Harts.

[Ignoritus]

pun v pun me m8

[Bean]

While I like dishing out the pun-ishment, it's not something you can force in a random setting. It just has to happen naturally. It's like when I'm typing stuff up about Mega Man and I'll say something like having "a devil of a time" against Yellow Devil or calling Oil Man one slick bot. You need material to work with. So I guess just like Mario at times, I'm plumb out of luck here.

I'm just glad we're on a message board that doesn't mind having a haus for all these puns.

[Wolfolotl]

why can you keep fungi in jars

because they don't need mushroom

[Pikabread]

guys it's pronounced fun-jeye

I'm the only fun guy around here

[Dizzybelle]

the most important part of any mailman joke is the delivery

[Gardenolva]

#PunsOfDamage

[dr_vblschrf]

my suggestion for a fifteen-person, all-piccolo band was dismissed for being more treble than it was worth.

i posted this very pun on my tumblr about a year ago and it's just as bad now as it was then.

[No Lynch]

Okay, this one I took from an obscure movie, so the set-up is rather long, but...:

"... And then, we ran into a bunch of knights."

"A knight, actually, there was only one."

"But he was very effective."

"Unpleasant."

"Mean, I'd have to say."

"Mean? Would you go that far?"

"Yeah, you know, when he did the thing, with the thing."

"Oh, right. Mean. I'm good with mean."

"We tried to get past him, but he had a voice like thunder!"

"A sword as fast as lightning!"

"He came at us like a whirlwind!"

"All in all, we'd have to say..."

"It was a dark and stormy knight!"

[Maiku Wotaharu]

I've always wanted an aviary, just so I can say that I'm a man of many talons...

[Gardenolva]

So, an angel went to a comedt bar with the stand up comedians making puns about angels abd demons. Once the angel heard enough, she went to them...and she gave them...
A PUN-ISHMENT!!

I WIN!

[Kuupa]

Did you hear about the 2 tv antennas who got married?

The wedding wasn't that good, but the reception was great.

[Clamestarebla]

Did you hear about the guy who got his whole left side ripped off?

Don't worry, he's all right now.

[HamsterZerg]

Hmm, I might as well join the pun...