Corrupt A Wish Game

[BurntTenda]

Granted, but there are less comedians.

I wish I was a professional at programming.

[Minnakht]

Granted. You're hired by Sledgehammer Games to work on Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare II.

I wish I knew what people actually meant to communicate when I hear them talking.

[BurntTenda]

Granted, but you don't know what to communicate anymore.

I wish that this was a demo.

[Minnakht]

You attempted to show people what happens when a wish gets corrupted, but it went all self-referential on you instead. Does this count as it working? Paradoxes are confusing.

I wish to doom us all by changing the gravitational constant to some other value.

[BurntTenda]

Granted, but we have teleportation easily available and we go to a colony on another planet that isn't affected.

I wish that we could let there be speech.

[RegiGiygas]

Granted. But speech quickly gains uncontrollable power and we become its slaves.

I wish that I didn't have these allergies.

[BurntTenda]

Granted, but now you're allergic to everything you didn't have allergic reactions to.

I wish that I didn't have to write this summary.

[Minnakht]

Granted. You're barred from having any job or partaking in any activity that'd require you to write a summary.

I wish the US had better public transport infrastructure.

[BurntTenda]

Granted, but only higher class people are now allowed to use public transportation.

I wish that I was good at drawing circles.

[RegiGiygas]

Granted. But you lose your ability to draw any other shapes.

I wish that I had some tasty donuts...

[alleightbits]

Granted. They contain LSD.
I wish that my head was an anvil.

[HamsterZerg]

Granted. Now you have a luxurious career in falling onto cartoon characters.

I wish we could get more depictions of the Kraken that are actually faithful to the original Norse legends.

[BurntTenda]

Granted. Norse mythology now changes based on the way the Kraken is depicted.

I wish that Falco would actually thank Fox for once.

[HamsterZerg]

Granted. Falco thanks Fox for airing Kitchen Nightmares.

I wish for bread.

[Hacchi]

Granted. I've done nothing but teleport this bread for the past 3 days.

I want a new duck, one that won't try to bite

[BurntTenda]

Granted. It won't TRY to bite, it WILL bite.

I wish to have rings made of donuts.

[Minnakht]

Granted. Here's ten donuts. I've made your hands large enough that they'll fit snugly on your fingers.

I wish for blessed +2 greased rustproof grey dragon scale mail.

[BurntTenda]

Granted, but the greyness of it was painted over with magical pink paint that never comes off.

I wish I remembered where that one shop in DT3 was.

[july]

Granted, but you remember absolutely nothing else about it.

I wish this wish was interesting.

[Minnakht]

Granted. It's now an interesting wish.
Well, it's granted. Done, next. No one's around to appreciate it anyway.

I wish the Bobobo anime continued.

[Willhart]

Granted. It's now an interesting wish.
Well, it's granted. Done, next. No one's around to appreciate it anyway.

I wish the Bobobo anime continued.

Grated. It has now been (dis)continued.

I wish for the power to change shape.

[Dizzybelle]

granted, you now how the power to change triangles into three sided polygons

i wish the world was full of a hopeless amount of bees

[Hacchi]

Granted, but a certain SOMEONE is being a greedy monster and hoarding all the bees to himself to resell at high price.

I wish my dad would watch his vids with headphones on.

[BurntTenda]

Granted, but he doesn't connect the headphones to the device.

I wish that I had a delicious candy that I could eat

[Minnakht]

Granted. He doesn't plug them in and turns the speaker volume even higher up to compensate for the ear obstruction.

fug, swordsaged. Okay

Granted. You have delicious candy that you can eat. If you actually end up eating it, though, you won't have it anymore.

I wish insects were immediately killed and buried in a nearby forest when they enter my house.