raocow's talkhaus

We return. Ayjo, we need a new contestant. Who you got?

Ayjo: We got... *blinks* Oh, gods. Not *that* eyechart again! *holds up a Wile E. Coyote-esque sign reading "dr_vblschrf" on it* You! Come on down! You're the next contestant on the Talkhaus Price is Right!

Now what's our next item up for bids?

*turntable swivels around, revealing a bunch of fancy clothes*

Ayjo: It's new designer clothes! Two fancy suits, one red, and one blue, and two shimmery dresses, one blue, and one purple, from Fashions 4 More! Pointlessly flashy clothing to tell the world "Hey world, I'm rich and I have no actual sense in fashion!"
You know the routine by now. dr_vblschrf gets first bid, followed by Picochilla, Maiku, and 128-Up!

1159 Dollares

1227

(sorry, finals spirited me away!)

$1,337! Hardee Har Har!

$500, my good... uh... blue... cat... person.

*looks at bids*

Bidding out of order. *shakes head* Bob Barker would be ashamed.

...

Fortunately, I'm not Bob Barker.

...

Don't do it again.

The actual retail price of those designer clothes is... *blink* $2,585! Yeesh. Fashion.
But that means... Yes, Maiku finally wins his way up on stage! Get up here, sir!

It's been a long time since you first came to Contestant's Row, but it's a fine time to be on stage right now, as we have... well, a couple of nice things, I'd say.

*doors swing opened, revealing a recliner and a black pickup truck*

Ayjo: How about a new recliner, and a brand new truck?

Ayjo: First, from Furniture Makers Inc, this lovely plush recliner, in a pleasing shade of dark blue. Pleasing, because it's the same color as *me*, yo. It rocks, it swivels, and it comes with its own retractable foot rest!

Ayjo: And second, and more importantly, we have the Nord Adventurer. This four-wheel drive pickup comes with rear-view transmission, power mirrors, and a sign on the back window that says "Baby on Board"! Perfect for cruising the tundra of Skyrim, the Nord Adventurer! It's a pretty awesome prize package worth $22,700!
We're playing a non-vehicle game for a vehicle! Woot woot!

Anyway, this is, as you've probably guessed, one of the quicker games. Of those six digits, three of them are in the price of that recliner. The first digit is the 8 or the 6, the second is the 2 or 9, and so on. If you can correctly guess the price of the recliner, you'll win *both* prizes. It's just that easy.

And to make it even easier, I'm going to give you a digit for free. Because that's just how the game is played. Do you want the first digit, the second digit, or the last digit?

I know this is going to sound rude, but give me the middle digit!

A good choice, if I do say so myself. What's that second digit?
9. Now, the rest is up to you. Is that first digit 8 or 6, and is that last digit 9 or 0? You only get one chance, so choose wisely!

I think the first digit is....uh....um....uhhhhh...oh gosh....six!

The last digit? Ohhhhhh....oooooooh.....ohdearohdearohdearohdearohdear...uhhhhh....nine?

All righty then. We have a price of $699 for that chair. If that's right, well, you know.

Light 'em up, Dan!
*losing horns*

Not...even close. $890. The sad part is, you went with a perfectly logical-sounding price. But this game can fool you!

Anyway, you'll be back to spin the big wheel later, so not all is lost!

Back after these important messages!

Next contestant, please!

Ayjo: How about the always-lovable Willhart! Come on down! You're the next contestant on the Talkhaus Price is Right!

Next item up for bids, please!

*models bring out a jar of money*

Ayjo: It's... a jar of cash. Yes, cash. Money. Currency. US dollars. The ultimate in "we completely ran out of ideas for items up for bids"!
... a jar of cash. Sure. I guess we're... now guessing how much is *in* that jar?

Ayjo: I guess? Whose idea was this, anyway? This is almost as stupid as that gold-plated raocow sta- *gets cut off*

Right. Now, Willhart bids first, followed by 128-Up, dr_vblschrf, and Picochilla last. When in doubt, just follow the order I provide!

Oh wow. I dunno. With Christmas and all I have not had much time to do math. That does look like a big jar though, so let's go for 600!

...Really? Really.

Uh... let's go for $870.

Party like it's $1999

goin straight down on 1000 Dollares

Well. 128-Up will be pleased to know that I have officially fired the dude who came up with the prizes for this show! There shall be no more dumb prizes as we have seen today!

*crowd cheers wildly*

I digress. The actual retail price of... err... the contents of that jar of cash is--

*clang clang clang clang clang!*

Well now! That sound means that someone has made a perfect, right-on-the-nose bid, and will thereby win an extra $500! In addition to the contents of that fine jar.

The cash goes to the one who bid... $1,000!
Picochilla, get on up here! That was a good bid... predictable, but hey, it nets you some extra cash. *hands Picochilla five fresh $100 bills*

But you have a chance to win so much more... Such as...

*giant price tag prop lifts up, revealing a shiny silver car*

Ayjo: ...a new car! It's the Ponyac Rainbow! Note that this is just a name, and the car is not actually rainbow-colored. You could sue for false advertising, and you might get a big payout! Or not. Anyway, comes with power steering, air conditioning, AM/FM radio, and all that stuff. It's a prize worth $18,191!
It's Pass the Buck! See those six spaces on the board? Behind one of them is that car! Behind three more are $1,000, $3,000, and $5,000. So you could win the car, some cash, or both! Of course, those last two spaces contain the dreaded "LOSE EVERYTHING", which causes you to lose anything you've found on the board up to that point. They don't *end* the game, though. So if you were to pick one *first*, hey, no harm.

Now, I'll give you one free pick, which we'll do a bit later. But first, I want to give you a chance to win up to two more picks!
We have a couple grocery products here... Ayjo, tell us a little about them, will you?

Ayjo: Right. First, we have a can of Cream of Cream Soup! It's creamy, rich, and I don't think there's anything *in* this soup except a lot of cream.

Ayjo: And second, a package of Cough-Less Cough Drops. In cool mint flavor! They won't *stop* you from coughing, but they'll make your throat feel all tingly and cool and refreshing and yes!

Now. One of those prices shown up there is actually a dollar too cheap. Correctly guess which one it is, and you'll win a second pick. You can now pass the buck to the left, if you believe the soup is actually $3.19, or you can pass it to the right, if you believe the cough drops are actually $3.09. Make it so!

I uhhhm.... give the bill to the Drops

All right, so you've chosen to pass the buck to the right... Show us which product *is* a dollar too cheap!
And indeed it was the cough drops, so you win another choice on the board!

But let's try for another. Ayjo?
Ayjo: First, a bag of Cat-Cat Cat Treats. Delicious and possibly nutritious, and shaped like little fishies! Cats love 'em! Normal cats, that is. They taste like [censored for comedy] to me.

Ayjo: And second, a bottle of Maple-O Syrup. Great on pancakes, waffles, french toast, or anything else you might want syrup on. Contains real maple extract!

And again, one of these is a buck too cheap. Which way will you pass the buck this time?

give it to the fishy treats

The fishy treats. That seems right. But is it?!
Yeah, it is. $1.59. That one was pretty obvious, wasn't it? Well, this part is more of a formality. It's usually pretty easy on the show itself, because they kind of *want* you to have all three possible picks. Anyhow, you *do*, so let's bring that board back!
Now. Pick a number! Any number! And let's hope you get that car right off! Or at least some cash!

the low 5

The 5 it is! Now what's behind that... *lifts card*
$3,000!

Now. You still have two more choices. You could pick again and hope for the car or more cash, but you also run the risk of hitting a Lose Everything. Is $3,000 good enough, or are you gonna try for more? If it's the latter, well then, pick again!